Born in England, with an English way of living, but with a twist - being told that my roots were based in a country very far away where people do things, live and think in a very different way than the people surrounding me. I knew I was different to my friends at school, I always had different views and ideas about what was wrong and right, and different rules at home to theirs.
Then between the age of 4 and 10 my father decided to introduce me to India, this far away land where generations after generations of my family have lived for many many years. And so my mind was opened at such an early age, always hot weather, huge bugs and animals I had only ever seen in a Zoo before. People dressed up in wonderful colours, and there was a world of poverty that I didn't know could exist, where the children seemed to be very happy regardless of whether they could afford trousers or not. Every corner we turned there was always something new and exciting to be seen, whether is was a roaming cow on the road or temples the shape of flowers. It was a new huge exciting playground where it seemed there was freedom to be yourself, without being judged by others, which was always the case back in England.
14 years passed. I left home, had many jobs, travelled far and wide, lived in different countries where I saw other different cultures but nothing seemed to compare to the diversity of India. All the while, wherever I went, I would always tell people about the magical land that I have roots in and all the amazing things it has to offer. I learnt how to cook typical Indian food, listened and followed Indian music, went to temples in England, mixed with Indian people, which always made me feel very good, safe, at home. I felt my connection with India was strong and I couldn't wait for the opportunity to go back again and experience it all again.
And then while living in Asia, the opportunity finally came. 24 years old, I was dying to go back and couldn't wait to reunite with my family who i hadn't seen in a few years. And what a better place to reunite!
In those 14 years however, I had changed a considerable amount. I had dealt with many different types of people and out of everything I've experienced I've taken on all that feels in tune with my soul what is classed to me as 'the good', behavior, beliefs, morals, and left out the bad, gluttony, selfishness, negative thinking, things that never helped me move forward in my life.
Then I returned. Returned with this heart that I've spent so long developing and fine tuning, bringing all the morals I've learnt with me - but with an Adult mind. And what I was exploited to came as shock to me. Greed rules the streets, cons and crimes happened left right and centre and the every man to himself type of living was prominent in the society. I had many questions, in which the answers included information such as the problem of over population, not enough police, the class system not shifting. I've travelled the world and been to many places alone, but I just didn't feel safe enough to step outside without someone with me the whole time I was there. Anyone that talks to you is never interested in your welfare, only the money in your pocket. If you don't obey to the class system, and take a bike rickshaw home ride for 40p, making a very poor hungry man cycle you to your house which is a only 20 minutes by foot, you are potentially starving that man from buying him and his family dinner that night.
So as I was trying to take all of this in, I was trying to understand why I hadn't been able to see all of these things when I was child. A childs brain must only be able to comprehend what it wants to see, which for me was only fun, exciting adventure. Now my brain has matured I was able to see the truth.
An overwhelming feeling of disappointment came over me, as for years of feeling connected to and having roots in a society that does so many things I've learnt to be bad or wrong......
.... However at that moment of dread, a magical unexpected thing happened (As it always does). I was introduced to relatives of mine that I hadn't met before who were a family of the Sikh religion. They spent a great deal of time with me explaining the way of the Sikh and the principles that they live by.
I was told that, if you are ever in trouble in India and need help, run to a Sikh. It is his duty to protect others and will help you with 100% effort with what you need. They are taught that whatever they have is a gift, so they should always feel content no matter their class or income. And they were right. That day we caught a taxi that a Sikh man was driving. Before we left the car, he told us to what to be careful of in the area. He genuinely cared as opposed to wanting something from us. Of this I was convinced.
They are so strong in what they believe, that in the Sikh history, many Sikhs have sacrificed themselves fighting for such a normal thing as quality, Regardless of gender, caste, colour or creed, all is one. They have been fighting for a land where Sikhs, Hindus and Muslims (three prominent religions in India) can live happily side by side for centuries. Some of the stories include an old Sikh warrior dying to protect others that are of other religions. This situation is so unique, it hasn't ever been found in other religious stories.
Another concludes, that two young Sikh boys, age 9 and 10, were captured and asked to change their religion. When they said no, they bound them and built a wall around them suffocating them inside.
One other warrior who had previously put his life on the line to free many women who had been captured for slavery, had his head sliced off , but managed to capture his head with his hand and continued to fight with his sword in his other hand!
These are a few of many other heroic stories that show true bravery equality, selflessness and respect that is instilled in these people.
We went to one of the main Sikh temples while we were there, and I was sitting in the meditation room, listening to the a book that should never be read, only sung, I whispered to my father why it was I was felt so connected to these beautiful sounds. The soothing drums and voice always stirred very strong emotions in me, for reasons I could never understand. He told me that if one generation of people listen to one type of music over many many years, your ears can be genetically built to recognize those same sounds that your ancestors have been listening to and connect it with good feelings being sent to your brain. What a beautiful way to feel good again.
The relatives I met welcomed me immediately, regardless of the fact that I was very different to the typical Indian girl, being grown up in the West. They called me sister, and daughter, told me they loved me, gave me gifts, would always be there for me, all completely unconditionally.
It was during these moments that I was slowly realizing I could see something familiar with this type of behavior - I could see myself reflected in their morals, their actions, their hearts.
From this I was able to comprehend where my roots really lie and why I have felt so connected for so long - to these wonderful people. The Sikh religion is a beautiful way to live and has made this world a better and safer place to live. My faith, and hope had been restored into India.
Before I went back as an Adult, I had built some structure to my life and my personality, some with the help of my family, some by myself. From the trip done as an adult, I can safely say to that structure, I now have a strong solid base, a foundation that will keep my structure sturdy and balanced.
Now I can continue my life, always building, always developing knowing that my solid foundation has come from roots and a background that's so strong, nothing in this world can break it.
