Despite the sun today, sadness has reigned. Ive seen it on peoples faces, ive heard it in peoples voices, ive read it in messages. And to stretch out happiness which is always my first reaction had been particularly hard today.
That can only mean there must be sadness within myself, that im hiding. I know what thats about though. My mother says that I dont do loneliness very well, but i always disagreed with her. Maybe, shockingly, surprisingly, she may have a very small insignificant point. Having alot of time to myself this weekend has only provided the time to bring it all to the surface.... and....
.....Somethings wrong. Something separate from the stupidity of my self-wallowing. I dont know what it is, but its there, those familiar feelings creeping up, something telling me to either prepare for something or giving me some kind of sign that something has/is going to happen/ has happened. Im closing my eyes... im trying to pinpoint...... somebody i care about is in trouble? Maybe? Im texting my suspicions now, and low and behold - no text back. Think ill have to step it up to a phone call. Shes gonna think im crazy tomorrow. Alot of people think im crazy when i ring up and say "ive got a bad feeling about something, are you ok?". But its worth it, even if my feelings are wrong, at least I did my best to find out what these bad feelings are all about.
Lesson to be learnt - always trust your gut instinct. Even if you look crazy doing it, its there for a reason. And even if you think, well i cant feel anything, its because you probably subconsciously switched it off, out of touch from your intuition a long time ago (society does shitty things like that). But seriously, get it back, and embrace it, it helps you in alot of sticky situations, if not to stop something bad, then at least prepare you for it so its not so bad when it comes. This pre-warning system is there for a reason, like a body mechanism, for protection No doubt about that.
Symbol of my inspiration today.....possible belly bar, and Logo....??? S word = solar
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