Ive always believed that if you strip away all thoughts, you are left with your pure self. Stop thinking and you will find yourself. But of course, we have to think to survive as human beings.
What I wanna know is, where have we, along the line, managed to get thought attached to emotion, to the point where we create our own turmoil? Surely this isnt what nature inteneded?
But this isnt even the end of the story. Why is it, when we have that random and unrecognisable thought, is it SO hard to stop thinking it? Why is it, it gradually becomes an obsession, growing and mutating into conclusions that you didnt even know was possible to come to? Its at that point when we have to act other wise we will explode with negaitvy. We either blurt out all these thoughts out loud, or do something stupid based on those conclusions. And its only then, when it comes out into the real world, when you hear yourself or look at thte stupid thing you just did, when we realise, 'what the hell was i thinking?' If this realistion doesnt occur striaght away, then usually after a bit of time, when the situation doesnt matter anymore it will definitly hit you. Times heals everything. God I love Time.
Its us that creates the one negtive thought. Society has brainwashed us into doing this. But for it to actually result in growing and mind control, well, maybe thats another form of being altogether. Eckhart calls it the 'Pain Body' which I forgot about until recently, and only made the effort to remember the term because Ive been feel8ing like this being has been having an effect on my life recently more then ever. But only because I have let it in.
If you have the will power to fight against it, then thats one step closer to never letting a negative thought control your head again. If your aware of it happening, if you can step outside the circle and look in, and recognise that that is what it is, thats another stepp closer. If you know that this being is doing this to you, and not blame yourself or feel any guilt for it, (as these are just more negative thoughts it can feed on and trust me its hungry) then you are yet another step closer,.
little steps, baby steps. its still progress nontheless.
Theres another factor that has to be taken into consideration though. If you let it grow, and even if your passing someone else in the street with a weak resistance to negtivity, it can attach itself to someone else, and manifest to the point that the other person effected could do something crazy that even they dont recognise in themselves.This is one of the things im most scared of. I know that if the pain body starts whispering in my ear i may fall to its words for a short time, but i know whats going on and im strong enough to eventually, when the head is clear, to fight it. But if in that short period of time i have passed it on, well im effectivly making the world a worse place to be in. and thats deifnitly not my intention.
When i first realsied this a year ago, i did everything in my power to stop it happening to me. It worked. I got everything i ever wanted in the space of two months.
Ive now been in a relationship for 10 months, 4 months of that has been long distance. And i have realised, if there is one thing that the pain body loves most to feed on, its long distance relationships. think of all the painful and strong emotions that are being felt by two people everyday. All the thoughts about what the other person is doing, or what you hope they are not doing. How much you want to be with that person but you cant, how just so unfair that is. And even when seeing each other, think of all the expectations of spending time with each other, and if these expectations arent met how much sadness can be created. Its heaven for this horrible being out to make peoples life a misery. No wonder most long distance doesnt work....
You have to be SO strong. SO resistant. So incredibly positive, push back every negative thought.
Will the strength inside me slowly die away and be distinguished one day?
I hope the power of love wil be enough to prevent my lamp from burning out. Love is all I believe in, so if it doesnt win the fight, I will not end up being the change I want to see in the world.
Christmas will be peaceful. A clear head will be needed for whats to come. Because after that the madness begins. 2012 is the year i plan to start maiking this difference. To live to the max, to makeas much happiness as possible. Join me. Fight the evil, rid the demons of your life before 2012 comes, so we can enter a new year in peace and harmony, ready for anything, making ANYTHING possible.
My only wish, is for love to prevail. And that battle starts today.
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