Empty as the sky

Here's a story of how I fell, got back up, learnt an important lesson and become a stronger person.

PART 1

On another solo journey, this time with with a different frame of mind. Recent events had made me feel delicate and I hadn't had time to deal with it before I had to get on the plane. 

This story consisted of walking down a certain path because it felt right. Deep inside I thought what was at the end of the this path I wasn't ready for, and it wasn't in my capability to achieve but I still followed my instinct. On the way I stopped, listened and followed, stopped, listened and followed. The sounds became louder and I knew I was getting closer. The sound I could hear gave me the impression I was heading towards something really exciting and I couldn't wait to be in the midst of it all and finally be able to have the big positive effect that I have always wanted to spread. Friends and family all cheered and assured me that I would reach the destination. I kept going, through the struggles and obstacles  and got so close I could finally see the door that led to this wonderful opportunity in my view. I arrived at the door, my heart pounding, I reached for the handle, turned it.... but it to my surprise, it was bolted shut.

All I could think about was 'How could that be? Why would life lead me all the way down this difficult road, to a bolted door I couldn't open?' 

But without having time to think about it more, off I went on a journey that I had organised 5 weeks previously, a little afraid of yet more disappointment that may be bestowed upon me. But for some reason, I still had an unbreakable faith that the universe is working with me and not conspiring against me. Every downfall has made me even stronger, and so as a true lion would, off I went with as much courage as I could muster, into the unknown.....



PART 2

Heading home I finally have time for reflection. I thank life for giving me the opportunity to explore and experience another land and spend time with good people. And I have a sudden realization that I have learnt something very important during my trip. Good things enter your life sometimes, out of random. They show this beautiful display of colour and light, like the the lights of aurora. You are in a state of great happiness. And then this good thing slowly fades away, and the display finishes. And there is suddenly an emptiness.....

This seems such a negative word. However, what I learnt was, it's what you do with that emptiness that determines your emotional state afterwards, therefore also determining how well the events of your life will go following that experience. 

If you fill the emptiness with expectations and judgments of the situation, there is a big chance you will get let down, disappointed, and hurt. And when you are in this state, your so full of sadness, that other good opportunities pass you by without you even knowing.

But if you leave it empty, without expectation or judgement you will just have this space, a void. And with this space, you will have room for other good things to come into your life, always welcoming the great opportunities and always remaining in a state of peace and contentedness.

Space and emptiness is the most valuable thing we have. And when we feel it inside of us, we have a tendency to think we should be filling it as quickly possible with anything that gives a very temporary feeling of satisfaction, be it, drugs, alcohol, sex or food.

But the reality is, it's not painful at all. It's light, it's free and it's exciting. Creating a void and making room for the universe to swoop in and give you what you have always dreamed of will only attract beautiful experiences ahead of you. 

This concept has actually been woven into many different religions, cultures and spiritual teaching practices for thousands of years all over the world. I've decided to illustrate 5 different examples to show this.

Be empty as the sky, and be free.

EXAMPLES

1) WISE MAN STORY

This is illustrated in the story of a wise man who won an expensive car in a lottery.

 His family and friends were very happy for him and came to celebrate. ‘Isn’t it great!’ they said. ‘You are so lucky.’ The man smiled and said, ‘Maybe.’

For a few weeks he enjoyed driving the car. Then one day a drunken driver smashed into his new car at an intersection and he ended up in the hospital, with multiple injuries. His family and friends came to see him and said, ‘That was really unfortunate.’ Again the man smiled and said, ‘Maybe.’

While he was still in the hospital, one night there was a landslide and his house fell into the sea. Again his friends came the next day and said, ‘Weren’t you lucky to have been here in hospital.’ Again he said, ‘Maybe.’”  
Being without judgment, is to be without pain.

2) SIKHISM

Inside the Guru Granth Sahib, their holy book, there is a passage that says:

'Be just as the lotus flower is not affected by water and always remains much above the surface, however big the rise and fall in it's level may be.

Be just as the duck who lives in the water, swims on it, but its wings do not become wet and it can fly away at any time. 

Be detached, and you will be able to swim across the world ocean."



3) SCIENCE 

'Apparently 99.9% of the whole entire vastness of the universe.....is.........space. nothing. voidness to its max. In between all the atoms that make us up there is more space then mass. This amount of empty space is not just huge, but gravitational too. Its grounding, and curves the shape of the planets orbits and the overall outline of universe itself.'



4) JAPANESE WRITING

Sky-  空

空 Kū or sora, most often translated as "Void", but also meaning "sky" or "Heaven", represents those things beyond our everyday experience, particularly those things composed of pure energy. Bodily, kū represents spirit, thought, and creative energy. It represents our ability to think and to communicate, as well as our creativity. It can also be associated with power, creativity, spontaneity, and inventiveness.

Kū is of particular importance as the highest of the elements. In martial arts, one often invokes the power of the Void to connect to the creative energy of the world. A warrior properly attuned to the Void can sense their surroundings and act without thinking, and without using their physical senses.

5) BUDDHISM 

a passage from the book of TAOISM

11

Thirty spokes will converge
In the hub of a wheel;
But the use of the cart
Will depend on the part
Of the hub that is void.

With a wall all around A clay bowl is molded;
But the use of the bowl
Will depend on the part
Of the bowl that is void.

Cut out windows and doors
In the house as you build;
But the use of the house
Will depend on the space
In the walls that is void.

So advantage is had
From whatever is there;
But usefulness rises
From whatever is not

Be free like the sea

Living life in the big metropolis city. Whatever I decide to do, a concrete jungle surrounds me everyday, with the buzzing atmosphere always promising me excitement and mystery......

But something starts to feel wrong, out of place... but there's no time to stop and think about it, nope there's no time for anything, gotta keep up with the non stop schedule with every minute of free time taken up, gotta maintain that progress in your career to keep growing, gotta balance that out with an exciting social life  because without the fun how would you release all that pressure of work? Sleep reduces to only 3 hours a day as that's all that can be squeezed in, I started running on reserve energy that I didn't even know was humanly possible, and life just seems to fly past you at the speed of light......

.... and about a month ago all of the lights, noise and chaos started to blind me from the root of the wrong feeling that kept nagging at me. And when two minutes of golden silence and peace  would blessingly enter my life, i thought to myself 'hang on a sec, where AM I going? Which way was I heading in the first place? Why are all these good people leaving my life? Why is all the positivity I am trying to spread around me actually having the adverse effect than I intend it to? What is going ON????

I felt blocked. Obstacles were everywhere.  I decided to stop and listen to my body. How can I get rid of these blockages? I asked. I started to have cravings for the rustling trees, mountain views, fresh sea air, and the sound of crashing waves. I could feel the lack of nature around me. I love nature so much so, that when there is a lack of it, I deeply miss its presence. That's when I knew, I needed to get away. A solo adventure to a tropical island for 4 days.  Off I went........

I arrived and got on the bus to the hostel from the airport. It was a fairly long journey. I noticed immediately there was nothing to worry about, no timing to be held, no promise or plan to implement, only me and a the swaying of palm trees slowly passing me by. My mind quickly emptied, and I went into a deep state of contented thought. When I arrived at my destination. I suddenly realized it had been months since I had even had time to think about going into a deep state of contentness like I just did, and I already felt refreshed before the holiday had even started.

As the holiday unfolded everything that I wished for was basically given to me on a silver platter. I wanted to achieve my dream of scuba-diving, and I did so a few hours after getting off the plane. I wanted to visit the jungles and see the old tribal culture that existed there, and so a lady I just met offered to drive me all the way there and back for free. I wanted to meet special and inspiring people that I had connections with and create unforgettable memories with, and I did that too. And even when a typhoon hit the island on the last day, I was forced to stay in the hostel and have a whole day of just relaxing cooking watching movies and playing board games. I forgot how beautiful these days could be.

I spent a whole evening on the beach watching the waves. I thought about my scuba-diving experience. I had never imagined so much beauty existed under the ocean. What was the secret of the ocean? It was free, everything came and everything went with the motion of the waves, it accepted everything, it never held on to anything, it always let everything go. And what was the result? a magical world underneath thriving with beauty and positivity beyond our comprehension.

One month has passed since that much needed and inspirational get away. It slowed my life down in a way that actually saved it from its own downfall. I came back to the city, with my mind unblocked and ready to accept, let go and be free, just like the sea. Within a few weeks, career opportunities started falling into my lap, and the window to my future was suddenly clean enough to look through and have a sneak peak at. It's enough to start my journey again, now I know which direction in which to head to.

As for the unintentionally negative effect I was having before I left the island, I figured out how that was happening and have made my own remedy to the situation. There has been a few situations in my life as of recent that have ended up with me being hurt and a little resentful. I can see clearly now that the key to preventing these situations from continuing was an ultimate forgiveness to everyone I had negative feelings towards in my life. And so I've started something called 'The Book Of Forgiveness'. In this book I've written a small letter to every person I felt has been connected with why I have felt hurt recently, and 100% completely with all my heart forgiven them in these letters.

Now I feel like the sea. No fear, resentment, anger, no boundaries, blockages or obstacles in my destination. Only me and the thousands of possibilities surrounding me now and in my future. And just like the sea, my magical world is appearing before me with beauty too sacred to describe in written word form....

You have the choice now, to cleanse. Get rid of all the pressure and stress, and with an empty mind  make the space for the universe to swoop in and answer all of your prayers. Now just like the sea and me, come with me and be free.....

Digging Deep - My Indian Tale.

Born in England, with an English way of living, but with a twist - being told that my roots were based in a country very far away where people do things, live and think in a very different way than the people surrounding me. I knew I was different to my friends at school, I always had different views and ideas about what was wrong and right, and different rules at home to theirs.

Then between the age of 4 and 10 my father decided to introduce me to India, this far away land where generations after generations of my family have lived for many many years. And so my mind was opened at such an early age, always hot weather, huge bugs and animals I had only ever seen in a Zoo before. People dressed up in wonderful colours, and  there was a world of poverty that I didn't know could exist, where the children seemed to be very happy regardless of whether they could afford trousers or not. Every corner we turned there was always something new and exciting to be seen, whether is was a roaming cow on the road or temples the shape of flowers. It was a new huge exciting playground where it seemed there was freedom to be yourself, without being judged by others, which was always the case back in England.

 14 years passed. I left home,  had many jobs,  travelled far and wide, lived in different countries where I saw other different cultures but nothing seemed to compare to the diversity of India. All the while, wherever I went, I would always tell people about the magical land that I have roots in and all the amazing things it has to offer. I learnt how to cook typical Indian food, listened and followed Indian music, went to temples in England, mixed with Indian people, which always made me feel very good, safe, at home. I felt my connection with India was strong and I couldn't wait for the opportunity to go back again and experience it all again.

And then while living in Asia, the opportunity finally came. 24 years old, I was dying to go back and couldn't wait to reunite with my family who i hadn't seen in a few years. And what a better place to reunite!

In those 14 years however, I had changed a considerable amount. I had dealt with many different types of people and out of everything I've experienced I've taken on all that feels in tune with my soul what is classed to me as 'the good', behavior, beliefs, morals, and left out the bad, gluttony, selfishness, negative thinking, things that never helped me move forward in my life.

Then I returned. Returned with this heart that I've spent so long developing and fine tuning, bringing all the morals I've learnt with me - but with an Adult mind. And what I was exploited to came as shock to me. Greed rules the streets, cons and crimes happened left right and centre and the every man to himself type of living was prominent in the society. I had many questions, in which the answers included information such as the problem of over population, not enough police, the class system not shifting. I've travelled the world and been to many places alone, but I just didn't feel safe enough to step outside without someone with me the whole time I was there. Anyone that talks to you is never interested in your welfare, only the money in your pocket. If you don't obey to the class system, and take a bike rickshaw home ride for 40p, making a very poor hungry man cycle you to your house which is a only 20 minutes by foot, you are potentially starving that man from buying him and his family dinner that night.

So as I was trying to take all of this in, I was trying to understand why I hadn't been able to see all of these things when I was child. A childs brain must only be able to comprehend what it wants to see, which for me was only fun, exciting adventure. Now my brain has matured I was able to see the truth.

An overwhelming feeling of disappointment came over me, as for years of feeling connected to and having roots in a society that does so many things I've learnt to be bad or wrong......

.... However at that moment of dread, a magical unexpected thing happened (As it always does). I was introduced to relatives of mine that I hadn't met before who were a family of the Sikh religion. They spent a great deal of time with me explaining the way of the Sikh and the principles that they live by.

I was told that, if you are ever in trouble in India and need help, run to a Sikh. It is his duty to protect others and will help you with 100% effort with what you need. They are taught that whatever they have is a gift, so they should always feel content no matter their class or income.  And they were right. That day we caught a taxi that a Sikh man was driving. Before we left the car, he told us to what to be careful of in the area. He genuinely cared as opposed to wanting something from us. Of this I was convinced.

They are so strong in what they believe, that in the Sikh history, many Sikhs have sacrificed themselves fighting for such a normal thing as quality, Regardless of gender, caste, colour or creed, all is one. They have been fighting for a land where Sikhs, Hindus and Muslims (three prominent religions in India) can live happily side by side for centuries. Some of the stories include an old Sikh warrior dying to protect others that are of other religions. This situation is so unique, it hasn't ever been found  in other religious stories.

Another concludes, that two young Sikh boys, age 9 and 10, were captured and asked to change their religion. When they said no, they bound them and built a wall around them suffocating them inside.

One other warrior who had previously put his life on the line to free many women who had been captured for slavery, had his head sliced off , but managed to capture his head with his hand and continued to fight with his sword in his other hand!

These are a few of many other heroic stories that show true bravery equality, selflessness and respect that is instilled in these people.

We went to one of the main Sikh temples while we were there, and I was sitting in the meditation room, listening to the a book that should never be read, only sung, I whispered to my father why it was I was felt so connected to these beautiful sounds. The soothing drums and voice always stirred very strong emotions in me, for reasons I could never understand. He told me that if one generation of people listen to one type of music over many many years, your ears can be genetically built to recognize those same sounds that your ancestors have been listening to and connect it with good feelings being sent to your brain. What a beautiful way to feel good again.

The relatives I met welcomed me immediately, regardless of the fact that I was very different to the typical Indian girl, being grown up in the West. They called me sister, and daughter, told me they loved me, gave me gifts, would always be there for me, all completely unconditionally.

It was during these moments that I was slowly realizing I could see something familiar with this type of behavior - I could see myself reflected in their morals, their actions, their hearts.

From this I was able to comprehend where my roots really lie and why I have felt so connected for so long - to these wonderful people. The Sikh religion is a beautiful way to live and has made this world a better and safer place to live. My faith, and hope had been restored into India.

Before I went back as an Adult, I had built some structure to my life and my personality, some with the help of my family, some by myself. From the trip done as an adult, I can safely say to that structure, I now have a strong solid base, a foundation that will keep my structure sturdy and balanced.

Now I can continue my life, always building, always developing  knowing that my solid foundation has come from roots and a background that's so strong, nothing in this world can break it.

Trust is a Must

On the new adventure. No idea what could possibly be ahead of me.  I  then came to a very interesting fork in the road. There were two paths. And they were both sign-posted. To the left there was a path that looked very well-trekked already, as if many a person had stomped their way down it before. The plants around it had been heavily trod on, bent over and lifeless. This was signposted with the following Japanese phrase:

- 長いものにはまかれる・ (nagai mono ni wa makareru)

Translation:  wrap a long thing around you.

Meaning conveyed: Once you have wrapped a rope around you, you can easily be pulled by others, down the path that everyone else follows, to do and be exactly the same as them.

This path seemed so well defined that I could actually see it's destination in the distance. And as I gazed down for a few more moments, from only imagining the predictability of it, I had a sudden feeling of deep emptiness. Just from the fact that I knew exactly where that path led was enough  for me to turn my head away and look for an alternative.

And so I turned my attention to the other path on my right, which was signposted with another phrase in Japanese:

- 茨の道を選ぶ (ibari no michi wo erabu)

Translation: Choose the path full of rose thorns

Meaning: Choose the dangerous path, and you will gain the biggest reward.

I looked down this path obviously in fear. There was danger of hurt, pain and suffering. But I was convinced that I would discover beautiful things, and have adventurous stories to tell and share with others, spreading happiness, joy and love, which of course is all I ever wanted. And of course, just as importantly, inspiring others to do exactly the same, making this world an even more vibrant and exciting place to live for everyone to enjoy.

And so I made my obvious choice. But before I set off on the perilous journey to true happiness, light and love, I looked at the person who was standing beside me, also trying to choose a path. And for a very brief moment, as we looked into each others eyes, a mutual agreement and understanding was shared between us and I had a sudden feeling of pure joy shining from inside of me. I reached out my hand. But at that moment, I looked again and the light in the eyes had slowly started to diminish.

I saw fear had won it's battle, and completely taken over. In the next instance, the magnetism started to repel and we were pushed down separately, down separate directions, down separate destinies.

I now travel this path full of thorns, alone but content, sending love and light down the other path when I can, while simultaneously trying to learn the lesson of acceptance. The winds have changed their tone and the only word I hear being whispered to me now is......'Trust...'.

Then it became clear. Do we really know what is good and bad for us in our lives? Or do we create illusions about what are good and bad and blame the universe when we don't get what we think we want?

The real questions are:

Can we be patient enough to wait for the blessings in store for us all, or will we lose all chance of it because we are too busy complaining about what we think don't have?

I suddenly understood what I had to do. I switched off fear, and replaced it with pure unconditional Trust. Trust in the universe, that it well, truly  and ultimately wants the very best for me, even if it's not so obvious to me at times. And so with my mind at peace I trusted, took the jump, and now a stronger, happier and wiser person is here in front of you, telling you this story.

 Trust today, and things may go your way.

KEEP CALM IT'S JUST JAPAN!

Here is a little something mainly to help all the newbies that have decided to come and see what Japan has to offer in their lives. But I’m sure the oldies can relate and benefit just as much J

So after a lot of thinking (ouch!) and gathering some perspective from other teachers, here are the ten top tips to conquering culture shock living in Japan. Gambate!

1.       Learn a little lingo. It’s true you don’t have to be a master at Japanese to survive in Tokyo, but even a few basic words will get you pretty far in sticky situations, and it’s best to avoid those in this weird and wonderful place. Plus you really impress the locals when they hear you trying, just a few words and to them you would already be very ‘jouzo’(good at) . Not bad for the old ego too J

2.       Giggle… at yourself. Messed up a little? Said something completely wrong in Japanese, or parked your bike in a no parking zone area without realizing as you may be unable to read the signs, resulting in it being towed away? (that one is probably only me). LAUGH at it. There will be many things going on around you every day that will leave you guessing forever, and they make amazing stories that can be shared with other foreigners living here and soon you will be comparing to see  who’s story is the funniest and who messed up the most, leaving your sides hurting.

3.       Eat the weird and you might get wonderful. Guaranteed you will go into a convenience store and turn your nose up at most of the stuff to eat in there when you first arrive.  You may even lose a few pounds and be put off eating well for a while. But Japanese people are known to live a very long time, and studies have suggested that there is a very high chance  it could be down to their diet.  So although it looks horrifically different to anything you may have tried before,   once you dive right into it you’ll be pleasantly surprised how fun all the different tastes, textures and combinations of food you’ll discover is. You’ll be saying ‘mmmm oishiii!!’ before you know it, and may have extended your life by a few years.

4.       Say goodbye to homesickness. Let me guess, you are missing baked beans, Cadburys chocolate, frozen pizzas, English breakfasts, and a good old pint of British ale or stout from somewhere south western, Wiltshire or Devonshire prehaps. Well I’ve only be here 7 months, and I have found them ALL. There’s an abundance of English pubs, and international supermarkets, even a Waitrose section for you upmarket folk.  Tokyo is a city full of surprises, keep asking around with enthusiasm, and you’ll find whatever you want.

5.       The silence is only temporary. You will do lessons sometimes and wonder if the student your teaching may be slightly mute. Let me tell you that’s very improbably the case. You may find the reserved personalities a little shocking at first, but please know that it’s not YOU, you wouldn’t be offending anyone as I’m sure you’re a great guy/girl. Being shy and reserved is part of the culture here, especially when meeting foreigners (we are a little scary at times it’s true) so keep smiling, keep eliciting and keep being yourself, and within no time the students will feel comfortable, open up more,  and may even be best bud material.

6.       Oh the mystery…What are they thinking? Sometimes when you have no idea what’s going on in a situation, it won’t just be because of the language barrier that there may be(unless you have a super brain and picked up how to write 2000 Kanji characters just walking off the plane).  But even then, languages aside, you will find a tendency for a lot of thinking to be happening,  but not enough talking, saying what it is  they are thinking, even if it’s important. You will find this especially on the trains when you will be crammed left right and centre like sardines in a can. No one will speak but it will be obvious that everyone will be getting on everyone else’s nerves. What I’ve done in this situation is just simply understand and accept that that is how it is. Worrying about it will only cause unnecessary stress. Besides, this allows the ‘bum shuffle’ to be totally acceptable to do on the train (a term we’ve recently come up with for cramming yourself backwards when you enter the train, making everyone else shuffle up and suffocate just a little bit more) It’s all fun and games of course J

7.       I. AM. ROBOT. But it’s OK not to be too. Tokyo is an exciting place to be. But you may notice that there is a certain robotic-ness to the daily life routines. People will be doing the same things, dressed the same way go to the same places every single working day. Some people have called it being ‘plugged into the matrix’.  And it’s so easy to get caught up into that matrix yourself. My advice here is mix it up a little. Take a different route, go shopping and eating in different places (there is ample to choose from!). Go check out some crazy museums, robot restaurants, cat cafes, kendo  and ninja lessons, maid… well, whatever takes your fancy, each to their own. It will take out the mundane feeling from daily routine and help you feel you are making the most out of your experience here.

8.       It’s not just any plan. It’s a Japan Plan! Got some holiday coming up? As amazing as Tokyo is, get out and about in the rest of Japan as much as you can. It has everything you can imagine, from bungee jumping in the mountains to scuba diving in the tropical islands, anything you want,  you’ll find it. The only limit is the one you set yourself.

9.       Drink. Find a local bar and get in there as much as you can. Plain and simple. Even if you don’t like alcohol (non-alcoholic beer is a bigger thing here). Friends will be made, amazing people will be met, opportunities will be placed in front of you on a silver platter, and your Japanese language skills will sky rocket.  Trust me on this oneJ

10.   Actually, you’re quite special. Oh go on then, a lot J You will look around sometimes and think, my god, I’m an alien. Yep, we are not in London, where your best mate may be Polish, and your Dad Indian and your cousin Jamaican.  It’s pretty daunting, and you will probably get stared at, and get given a fork instead of chopsticks every-time you buy something from a convenience store .  125 million people live in Japan, and we only make up  1% of that. But this small percentage does not have any effect on what you are worth. Understand, accept and enjoy being different, let your uniqueness shine through you and the adventure that you came here looking for may well exceed your highest expectations. 

The only way is UP

Going from one phase to another in your life and not sure the best way of going about it? Yep, me too. At such a crucial stage in your life however, applying the right mind set and viewing it from the right perspective could have a huge impact on where your next phase takes you.

So here's how I decided to go about it. It's a little bit of an adventure, but everything seems to feel right. I've written it down, hoping it can inspire you to embrace every aspect of the changes that are happening to you.

Happy reading! 鼓舞する!


The batteries died.

No matter how much energy I tried to squeeze  out of them, there was no output anymore. As I desperately continued to slam the buttons, hoping with all my might it would magically start working again, flashing lights, music and all, a sudden fear started to creep into my heart, as all of my attempts failed. A realisation. It's time to let go, before any more damage is done. Let go and overcome the fear. The outcome of this decision will benefit you and everyone involved, even if it will take time for anyone else to see it. Don't struggle anymore for the fear of loss. Just let go.. So I did. 

Then woosh. 

Magnets started pulling.

I was swept away by a crazy tide during a thunderstorm. Where I was going, why I was going there, how I even ended up on the crazy journey in the first place, I didn't have the slightest clue. But I felt like I was being  magnetically pulled. Control was something out of the picture. Of course, I could have tried swimming against the current. But would I have survived doing that in a raging storm? Who am I to defy the laws of the almighty nature? So I rode the wave, letting it take me to new unknown destination, with fear in my mind, but courage in my heart. Eyes closed, here we go...

Settling sand, new found land.

Then there was calm. Looking around, waking up, I realised I had been beached. I was on unknown land. Infact, it was new soil. freshly settled sand had fallen and created a new platform for me to stand on. As I felt my toes sink into the sand, instinct told me that this new land had all been built just for me to survive, explore and thrive. How thankful I am to life for such a beautiful gift of mystery, enchantment and excitement, where all things could be made possible and all dreams could come true. 

Theres no one around. The silence is daunting. Could the emptiness surrounding me be too much for me to  cope? Theres so much to get started, and the way in front of me is free. I have two options. I can let the fear swallow me up and never really know what could have been in store for me, living, then dying, full of regret. Or I could explore this wonderful new land, living experiences and eventually filling the emptiness by giving pure unconditional love to everything I do and everyone I meet along the way.

As I walk along the shore trying to decide, I've realized that in my heart I've already made the decision. And in the gentle breeze, I can hear a word in the wind being whispered to me.....完璧

Freak in the Far East

The next Japanese Proverb I'd like to bring to your attention really stirs up emotions inside me that I feel has to be shared with you all.

出る杭は打たれる。 Deru kui wa utareru 

The basic translation - The nail that sticks out will always get hammered down.

As I walk around this unique city everyday, in awe of the activity going on around me, I try to listen inside, to what my instincts are saying about the people that are surrounding me.  I ask myself questions such as, can I connect with these people? This culture and their way of thinking? And as I stand on a jam packed train everyday completely full of people, where personal space ceases to exist, for 15 minutes the entire train rides along to it's various destinations, in complete and absolute silence. Not a word is spoken. Not a smile is shared. Nothing is being eaten or drunk. Couples show no personal affection, not even holding hands. Can I catch someones eye, give a smile and spread a little joy? The truth is,  It's very difficult to.

I've met some people recently, that have told me they don't like to listen to music. This came to me as a surprise, as music is one of my mains sources of happiness, and calmness, warmth and emotion, which adds obligatory flavor and spice to my life. A life without music would be, for me a very dull existence

The thousands of people that catch the trains everyday, what is their main job? Most of them seem to be dressed as office workers and business men. But so many people have so many creative talents that they could exploit and embrace, creating more art, music and doing a job that they love rather than have to go to. I remember England being a country that supported anyone who showed any bit of talent, to embrace it and help them show it to the rest of the world. I loved it for that and still do.

The happiest I've seen people here in public is in a nightclub, people expressing themselves through dancing and laughing, happily sharing joy with each other. Until... the police come and raid the place because dancing without a dancing license is illegal. So the happiness evaporates as quickly as it came.

After putting all of these things together, the above proverb started to make total sense to me. What if you are special in Japan? Different from the rest? Stick out like that nail, stand out from the crowd? Are you looked down on by the rest? That nail, that person expressing themselves differently because it feels more natural for them to do so, gets hammered down, to the place where everyone else is, to BE like everyone else. A population is much more easily controlled when everyone has the same type of thinking, no rebels to deal with only people who nod agree and do what they are told.

What kind of life is this though? The more important question, actually is, WHO's life are you living being this way? Yours or the person who is telling you how to think and feel everyday of your life?

This world is such an amazing place, and what makes it the most spectacular place to be is, that each of us, as human beings, are individually and interestingly different, making every person as special as the next. If everybody realized their uniqueness, their passions and acted upon them, upon their instincts and feelings rather than a way of thinking, it could definitely be said that it would take the monotony out of the every day life that we all feel caught up in sometimes. 

It's easy to get caught up in it, to give in, the be hammered down to the level of the rest. Who wants others to think badly of them? No one of course. But this thinking only imprisons you. Your whole life becomes shaped by what other people think of you. But everything you do, dress and say being based on what people think about you is not living a life of freedom. Freedom is a right everyone should have, and  gaining it is much easier than you think. The only step that has to be taken is to stop caring what other people think of you. Most of these people are in the street, and will probably never seen you again, and therefore will have no more effect on your life. Once you stop caring, and you will have the key to your freedom. It's a kind of bliss. Once you have mastered it, trust me, it's one of the most liberating feelings in the world.

 I've been brought up to believe that standing out is the greatest thing to do to progress and have an interesting and adventurous life. Standing out = being remembered. If you are remembered, the dreams that you have are more likely to materialize in front of your eyes. 

The truth is, every great opportunity I've had in my life, is because I have stuck out and done something different and out of the ordinary. I'd do extra research of companies before job interviews and even little things like changing dull homework activities in my classes to something exciting and personal that the students can relate to. Students never forget things like that. Takes some people years to speak Japanese? My objective is in another few months to have lengthy conversations in just Japanese. Different? Oh well, doing this will open many more doors in my life, as I'll be able to communicate with thousands more people, help and inspire and so the circle goes on. 

This is what I call living. And so I'm sorry to say I'm not getting hammered down any time soon. I'm reaching for the stars, and I intend to get there one way or another. 

Let's all stop caring what others think of us. Let's do only what we love the most in life. Let's act on our feelings, listen and trust only what our most inner instincts are telling us. Then we will be able to all  rise together and wherever we go, wherever we end up, we can make miracles happen, all around us. :)

Living in the Land of the Rising Sun

There's a Japanese saying, and the translation goes a little something like this:

A rolling stone gathers no moss. 

To the Japanese, this had two meanings, a positive and a negative. Of course, the yin and yang, the light and dark, the two sides of the coin.

First, a person who moves from place to place, never has to build attachments that weigh them down, and they have a free spirit, putting down their roots wherever the wind takes them.

The second is that people who stop moving and put their roots in somewhere, can build those attachments, of love, friends, routine and familiarization and live a content life this way.

So it's all about perspective, like everything in life. What's my perspective? Well actually that's what I'm still trying to figure out............


I've moved to a distant land, far far away. It's a land of magic. Everyday I wake up with genuine excitement, not knowing what I will see or experience that day. Japan is just full of surprises.

I love the Japanese's enthusiasm in what they do. Everybody who works, does so with the utter most passion, It doesn't matter what their job might be, they will do it with precision, concentration and cheerfulness. When they provide a service, they do so with Love and make it obvious they are grateful for providing that service to you, whether the person receiving is or not.

They appreciate whatever they have in their lives. If their house is small they will make the most out of the space that they have. Cook them food, and they will remember your kindness forever.

It's easy to put a smile on their face. Talk to a Japanese person and they will always smile about something.

Their mentality is inspirational. I haven't met anyone with split personalities, or mental illnesses. And they live for such a long time. They must be doing something right in their way of thinking, something I would like to learn from them.

But it seems they have two sides to their lives. While in public, their interaction with each other is zero. Sometimes on the trains, there could be 100 people in one carriage alone all squashed up, and it would be completely silent. Strangers will never talk to other strangers. In public they are very reserved. But then you will see a big advert on an outdoor TV of an anime, with crazy cartoons shouting and screaming, colorful and action-packed. The media that they make to entertain themselves seems to be completely the opposite of their public behavior. Not sure why that is yet. There are still many things I'm trying to understand.

But this country is the safest I've ever been in. You can walk down an empty alleyway at any time of the day or night, and no one will bother you. You can loose money, phone, whole bags, and you will always get it back somehow. But they have the death penalty here. They are completely OK with the idea with killing another human being if they are bad enough to be killed. Which is not part of my thinking at all.

When it snowed, I saw people coming out of their houses in the middle of the snow storm with a shovel, removing the snow from the roads. I thought it was to clear their own driveway for their cars, but later realized after I asked someone that they do it only for other people to be able to walk down those roads. They seem to live with love of the service of others. And it's such a beautiful thing to realize, that their are people, well a whole nation that still have this mentality in this crazy world that we live in.

Their love for nature is also admirable. They look after all trees, plants and even though their idea of keeping pets is a bit askew, also animals too. Even though I live in one of the most metropolitan cities in the world, with the amount of parks and wildlife reserves they have here, I still feel so close to nature. Even the sitting and sleeping on the floor makes me feel closer to the Earth. Also the uncontrollable nature, like snow storms out of nowhere, earthquakes that wake me up in my sleep.....it's removed my fear of these things, and instead I'm just in awe at the uncontrollable forces that happen right in front of me. It's also a great reminder that sometimes in life, we are just not in control of everything that happens.

I am though, 100% lost in translation. From travelling to the right destination, shopping in the supermarket, receiving bills and important post, are somethings ten times harder then they have ever been before for me. 3 Alphabets and a language far different from anything I've ever tried to speak. Even after learning how to read 2 of the alphabets, my vocabulary is not extensive enough to even understand what I'm reading, And with many ways to write one word that has many different meanings..... well it will be a long old journey to mastering Japanese. But teaching English over here, I've never felt so rewarded. Sometimes I leave my work, not tired, but uplifted, with a smile on my face all the way on my journey home. It's the exchange of teaching one thing and learning another, be it language or anything else, it feels so good that I never want to stop doing it.........

................... Even with these feelings of adventure and excitement for living, everyday I am reminded that I have in fact, embarked on a journey that has taken me physically away from everything I love, everything I'm familiar with, everything I've ever known and everything positive I've built in other lands. I've chosen to live life as that rolling stone that never gathers any moss.

And within me right now, behind the eyes that are the window to my soul, there lives a tiny obstacle of Fear. Fear of others peoples memories of me fading away into darkness.....Fear of peoples promises to me being broken and not being implemented, Fear that I am unable to do anything to help the ones I love while not being physically present, and Fear that I may be unable to communicate  that no matter how far I am from them,  the people that I left behind mean and will always mean so so much to me.

But one message I received today, telling me that the positive things I taught to others were being still being implemented, growing and changing peoples lives,  removed that obstacle, that Fear for a small while, and it was enough time to make an important realization. I may be a rolling stone, but while I've rolled around, I've left an imprint of Love on the ground, And because this imprint was made with Love, it's permanently engraved. Forever. Memories, promises, Fear itself may not last forever, but the EFFECT that I had from the actions I made with love in the past will live on - infinitely.

Just like the most influential musicians, artists, scientists and leaders, even if they have passed away, they acted only with Love, and their teachings will forever be in the minds of the people on this Earth.

So until it's my time to start gathering moss and putting down some roots, I guess I'll keep rolling on....