The Yellow Brick Road....

Lastnight, I heard my grandmother pray. And it was beautiful

It was one of those moments in life - those ones you dont realise how magical it is until it passes.

Sleeping in the same room as her, because I had an instinct I had to see her, even if she was staying in a house were there wasnt any room for me.

All my life, shes been telling that she prays for me everynight. And I thought it was just something she said.

She likes to tell the story of how as a baby I use to be like a koala bear, not letting go of her leg when it was time to go home. No  matter what happens, that woman will have a very special place within my heart.

At the moment, I have embarked on an adventure. But the funny thing is, it isnt just any old adventure - Its the one that I dreamed of. Everyday as i meditate, I reflect upon the fact of how lucky i really am. But is it luck? Actually I dont think so

A bit of FYI for all peeps in this world - Dreams DO come true. There are a few tricks to it obviously.

One of them is to just have the right mind set - appreciate what you have, accept your dream when it comes to you, and then just never stop dreaming of other things, until the glorious day of your death.

Another - is to have loved ones around you ask the universe for you dreams to come true. Whether its a mutal friend wishing you all the best with a handshake, or the grandmother that has been more like a mother then any other, pray  everynight to the god that shes believed in all her life. As loong as it comes from that persons heart with good intentions - its pure magic

And the last is something that me and a very good friend of mine have come to realise. Finishing university was a very scary exepeirence. It seems that, most people went back to carry on their lives before they came to uni. Fair enough, familiarity is always the safe solution. Some people stayed int he city they studied in, deciding on a career unrelated to thier study. This is also understandable, as the curent economical climate is pretty crud and earning money is very hard indeed.

But these paths. to me seemed out of place. My heart just couldnt connect to any of these situations.
So I picked a random city that I liked and made the decision. Took that leap of faith and just moved, here, to brighton, the city where literally anything is accepted. I have the city centre to my left and the sea to the right of my house. I have a job where there is alot of freedom, trust and such an amazing oppertunity to meet everyone within the music industry that exsits here. Of course there are things to struggle with everyday. my pay is very low. my resources were limited. being away from the man i love is feels like my heart is very slowly and painfully being eroded away, leaving me very lost and confused at times.

But I know I chose the right path. simply because it was the path that had not been taken yet. This is the third tactic to be exspecially aware of, and which is beautifully explained by a Mr Robert Frost in the poem below

The Road Not Taken

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood, And sorry I could not travel both And be one traveler, long I stood And looked down one as far as I could To where it bent in the undergrowth; Then took the other, as just as fair, And having perhaps the better claim Because it was grassy and wanted wear, Though as for that the passing there Had worn them really about the same, And both that morning equally lay In leaves no step had trodden black. Oh, I marked the first for another day! Yet knowing how way leads on to way I doubted if I should ever come back. I shall be telling this with a sigh Somewhere ages and ages hence: Two roads diverged in a wood, and I, I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference.

The past university expeiernce was ful of life. The future is just brimming with exciting mystery. But right now, I am ....a pace :)

More than just WoRdS....

Words

they are just a form of communication for what actually is.

When it comes to emotions, they are only labels of that emotion. not actually the emotion. Will we ever come to realise that again?

Love is a huge example. Two people are together. They caress each other, they laugh togther, they care about each other. They make love toegther. But still, the word love is not said between them, when quite clearly, its there. And its when one of them plucks up the courage to say, you know what i love you. Does love start at that very moment that the person said those words? no. Did it start when that person started realising it was love in the head , but not telling it to anyone? absolutly not. It was always there.

Some of us talk to much. But are still afraid of words that label our feelings.

Sometimes i think weve got to stop talking. and stop thinking. Just Do. Just Feel. and if we do this, we wil be able to understand each other, just as animals do. By a look in the eye, a sixth sense in their gut, a heart positivly vibrating in your ribcage. This is emotion. This is real. This is how to live a life, alive, instead of wasting each day with words and then realising when were on our death bed, that weve been labelling our lives away.

Dont get me wrong, they can help people immensely. Hence why I write this blog, to inspire people with words. But let me tell you, if i could just stick to demonstrating goodness in the world, and how easy it is to inspire, to love, and provide as much aid as i can through only my actions, in which people would watch, learn, and repeat themselves, then not only would it be more effective, but i would also be able to reach as many hearts as i wanted in the world, no matter what languauge they spoke.

Some people use words to convince themselves of things. To brainwach themselves. And then, when they say these words to other people, they expect the right words to be said back to confirm their made up convictions.

Self pity is a huge one. Everybody has suffered in their life, one way or another. And I have noticed, with alot  more people then i care to mention, that they use thier words when they are weak, and are feeling most vunrable, to tell sad stoires of themselves. Because then pity from the person you are telling it to will flow into you and you will ultimatly be more powerful, having sucked al tha perons energy away from them and possesed it for your own.

Words can be used for fun and for laughter. This is a tool that i will not deny. and the more laughter tehre is the world, the better.People find it strange that i have friends that dont really speak english. But whats said between us doesnt have to be clear - just the meaning of it does. And these friends are some of the best.

I was telling a 'sad' story in my life to people the other day - and i realised as i was telling it, there was so much laughter and positive words, that nobody in that room felt drained, or forced to show their concern or created awkward silences. it went a little something like this.....

13 years old, i was in noddy land, getting my much needed sleep for school the next day. i woke up to this sudden sound of my fathers voice... GET UP EVERYONE, GET ONE GET UP AND DRESSED NOW! I opened my eyes, to find that i couldnt really see much, smoke had filled the entire room - and i was soon to realise, the entire flat. i got dresed - but into my school uniform! (well it was the closest thing to me ) My sister christina was being too slow so i told her to hurry. I opened the door and dad told me to go to the lounge window which was open. i looked behind me, and there was one of my step brothers.... in a huge fluffy robe and 3d cheeky monkey slippers! and i thought school uniform was bad enough. my other step brother heard my dads voice, but wrapped himself in the blanket and said he didnt want to go to school today. we tried to wake him up and tell him there was a fire in the house and it was 3am morning. when he finally got the message, he got dressed and headed straight to the front door. My dads voice was scarily loud. NO HARRY NOT THE FRONT DOOOR THATS WHERE THE FIRE IS COMING FROM!. i think, by then he was definitly not half asleep anymore!


we all started climbing down a ladder that was coming from the lounge window. fred nearly tripped in his humungos slippers and my step mum, 7 months pregnant, definitly struggled. it made me think about how huge people must try and stay away from ladders, the balance just wouldnt work! us four teenagers were told to wait in the fire-engine while pen was in the ambulance. me and christina were eyeing up al the fireman - my god they were perfect eye candy for 2 13 year olds :D then suddenl i smelt something really bad. fred shouted, urgh harry, dont fart in the fire engine, theres no air in here! nervous maybe? we all burst out laughing.


After this day we had to move from B&B'S To holiday flats to houses  4/5 times in the space of 2 years. but the whole experience has made learn to survive quite happily with hardly any furniture luxerys or private space. I could basically live anywhere, be happy and still make it home.

Sticks and stones will brek my bones but words will never hurt me

Actions speak louder than words

A picture paints a thousand words

These phrases have been round for centuries - so we all know of the unimportance of words.

• Next time you wanna express an emotion try showing it instead of saying it - the effect is so much stronger.

• Feeling sorry for yourself is only a state of mind. Every one of your sad stories can be be broken and manipulated into spreading laughter and happiness - try it, youll only have words to loose :)

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3wmgTH_Oe5M&feature=related
 The song of this blog

What Is Love? Ladies and Gentle beings, an Idiots guide....

Negative emotion is a building with many floors. built from bricks with many layers. Piece by piece it can be completely eradicated. Let me show you how, take a sneaky look.

The Demolition

Take away Anger

Youll be left with Jealousy

Rip apart Jealousy

Possesiveness will remain

Dispose of possessiveness

Only Attachment will conquer

Clear all of your attachments

A powerful realisation  occurs

That all of the above derived from one source, that is actually only a product of the cunning imagination a creation of the brain.

Pure Fear. The sole reason for every mistake made by Human Kind.
People are always frightened.

Scared of what might happen.

Scared of what will happen. 

Scared of what wont happen. 

Scared of loosing control 

Scared of inevitable change 

It doesnt have to be this way. People dont have to suffer. Because there is a way of eradicating this minds image. This fear. 

Acceptance

Such a simple but difficult task. The brains just noise, like an untuned radio. Switch it off and acceptance follows.

Once that has happened, there are no emotions created by the brain anymore. After everything has been stripped away, what is it that people feel? How does it feel? Where does it come from?

Its the one aspect that links us all to each other. Connects us to every living thing, from the micro organisms living underneath the rocks, to the highly intelligent beings living in the universe on distance planets. Its the energy deriving from inside that makes every atom within our body alive with power. It isnt an emotion. Its just being. As human beings, weve labelled it, given it a word, which is so mis used and misunderstood that confusion to whether it exsits or not dwells around the world.

We call it Love

I personally dont have a word for it. I know that its the reason why i do what I do everyday.  And I also know that I have a hell of alot of it to give.

Instead of labelling it, Il desribe a fraction of its aspect, it potential in a short poem.

Love is not an attachment

Love is not a lie

It cannot be created

And it will never die

Loves not about grievement

or a figment of the mind

Its the unconcious power

That dwells in each inside

Its the scent of a flower

Its the blue of the sky

Its the sweet sound of music

That brings tears to your eyes

Its a constant reoccurance

a beautiful melody that you hear

Once felt  for someone or something

It can never disappear

It can increase in intensity

if sparked by a connection

It provides incredible power

When mixed with affection

How can love hurt

With all its incredability

Its the fear of loosing it

That ends in stupidity

For it can never be lost

If at first it wasnt found

Its the meaning of immortality

Its always been around

Now this may sound insane. But I am always in love. And its not because I crave phsyical affection, or need any special attention. Its not because I need to fill a whole in my heart, or feel wanted by anyone. Because all of these feelings of attachments is not love. Its just another form of fear.

Its because for me, its just being. Living is loving. Not only do i fall in love with my beautiful surroundings, but i fall in love with people. I think people are amazing. I spot their best traits, thier talent, thier kindness and it just beautiful. And thats it. the connection is made, and never leaves. Whether its with a man, or a girl friend, a child, a parent, or a guardian. Its there

Soooo many examples.

1. My Mother was not part of my life for most of my childhood. Her parenting skills barely exsist, and her self-absorbtion has ruined my life on more than one occasion. I cannot think of one logical reason to love her. But I love her with all my heart,

Because love is without reason.

2. A Woman that came into my life as a child, and showed me the meaning of mother. Her inspiration was incredible. Within 1 year of living with us, I knew the type of woman i wanted to grow up to be. In every aspect, in my opinion, she showed me the meaning of beautiful femininity that i longed to aquire. As a 11 year old child, the mind is not so corrupting, so when love is felt for someone, its said without shame or embaressment. And it still exists to this day.

Because Love is not blood

3. An ex boyfriend that couldnt be more different to the person i am if you tried to match me with an extra terssistal. But love still appeared. I tried to prove my love by staying with him for so long against all odds, even if i was incredibly unhappy in everyway. But in the end I finished it.

Because love is not attachment. Its acceptance, its letting go, its sacrafice

4. One night, one man. One feeling. Pure and simple. His fear maybe the reason why he pretended there was nothing, and the reason why he continues his life burrying what he cant accept. But time has nothing to do with love.

Because Love is immortal, for in the face of love, time does not exsist.





5. A good friend. expereincing hardships together, but never loosing contact. Helping each other through the hurt of other loved ones. It created love very early, but was not percieved as love. I thought I just cared. But of course, what triggers the need to care? Years pass. But in just one night, the mind cleared. the signs the universe were giving me were everywhere. I followed them. An oppertunity appeared, and the love inside of me guided me into his arms. Then I knew what i felt in that moment always existed, and will always exsit.

Because love is destiny

 The Rebuild

And now, with love, layers can be built again with positive building blocks.

From love, Joy appears

From Joy, happiness is born

From happiness, we learn the art of being content

Being content guides us all to peace. 

A united peace that will save the world.

Thats the way to live. To love

 

I heart...........voids? wert :/

3 words...... (its not I Love You, although thats another story) ....

Nope, its Tao Te Ching. My new bible. It just puts everything into perspective.

Its from the religon Taoism. Its a pretty cool religon. Its diet is healthy and it encourages sex as it provides positive energy to the person your canoodleing with. Thumbs up all round right :D

Chapter 11 from this new founded bible and another blog about this subject really got me thinking about Voids.

Hmmm, Empty space is such a strange thing.









Before I tell you what Chapter 11 reveals, il get stuck in with examples.

1) a rather good explanatory movie

Theres a film I watched recently, and it was quite simply, fucking amazing. Peaceful Warrior has the most amount of uplifting quotes that can be written for a movie, and it really moved me. The mysterious man (Given the name Socrates) who works at a petrol station serves this customer (Dan) at 3am nearly every single night. Socrates asks Dan 1 night, are you happy? Dan explains about the perfection that is his life (girls, fitness, friends). Then Socrates asks, so why can you not sleep at night? He answers his own question. Its because your afraid, afraid of the emptiness in your life....He doesnt deny it. And its this that gets him started on his spiritual journey, of not to fight the evident void in his life, or even try to fill, but to embrace it.

Filling the void with external experiences is what, in my opinion, is one of the main destructions that exsist in this crazy world. Alcohol and nicotine are perfect examples that also contain chemicals to aid the obsessiveness.

2) Personal reference

Best personal example.......explanation of literally, the worst phase of my life - were alot of mistakes were made. I felt I had a hole in my life, so i tried to fill it with a relationship, with love. Things werent working out, I ended it. But I felt like the hole had somehow increased in size and felt the obsessive need to fill it again, but was also telling myself i dont want a relationship. This craaazy confusion resulted in many drunken nights within a short period of time doing things that I was extremely ashamed of . Only recently have I managed to forgive myself for letting myself be used in such a way. And of course, its just another temorary filling.

There is only one thing that can permanently fill that hole, and that is complete acceptance of its existence. Even happiness cannot fill it for long, for all the negitive influnces in the world will do their darnest to destroy your it.

3) Bit of maths

Now comes the calculation

Fill empty space with acceptance = peace. But Peace = empty space

Confused? Dont Worry, Brian Cox will explain......:D

4) Bit of science

Apparently 99.9% of the whole entire vastness of the universe.....is.........space. nothing. voidness to its max. In between all the atoms that make us up there is more space then mass. This amount of empty space is not just huge, but gravitational too. Its grounding, and curves the shape of the planets orbits and the overall outline of universe itself.

5) Bit of R.E

So here comes my trust old bible and that special chapter i talked about before this school subject sesh started

11

Thirty spokes will converge
In the hub of a wheel;
But the use of the cart
Will depend on the part
Of the hub that is void.

With a wall all around A clay bowl is molded;
But the use of the bowl
Will depend on the part
Of the bowl that is void.

Cut out windows and doors
In the house as you build;
But the use of the house
Will depend on the space
In the walls that is void.

So advantage is had
From whatever is there;
But usefulness rises
From whatever is not.

Well i may have been writing to many dissertations recently and may have gone overboard with referenceing, but i guess i could say ive proved my point quite thoroughly.

So, dont be afraid, its only space :P

Zen is THE shiz

Do you think, you think too much? Or do you have to think about that, before saying, I think so?

Annoyed with that sentence somewhat?? yea well - I have a small suggestion

Why is it, that we feel we need to do all this thinking for? Somewhere, along the lines of history, i reckon something got seriously mixed up. Not only did we loose the knowledge of how important it is to trust and judge from the inside, with the source that we all share and are connected by, but we are utilising our brains all wrong, when its purpose is to be a tool only.

A few concequences of this:

1. If your trying to achieve something, and think too much, the achievement doesnt work out they way you expected


2. When you find yourself in a difficult situation, and go away to think about things, but dont come to a conclusion and just feel extremely tired instead.


3. If you think about going and doing something, and not do it, the only reason you didnt do it is because your thoughts stopped you.


Thinking prevents you from amazing oppertunites, distracts you from what youare capable of and drains the vital energy away needed for your body to funtion properly.

aaand example time

First Il refer back to one of my Favourite films of all time - The Last Samauri. Dont really know what tom cruise is like as a person but hes pretty darn awesome in this film.

In the Japanese mountains, hes learning the way of the samauri. But no matter for how long he tries it, he just cant master it like the others. Until a dude goes up to him and literally says the words "no mind". From that moment, what he was trying to achieve, suddenly became very possible, because he used power from within, instead of the noisy distraction of his thoughts.

Second a strange apiphany that happened to me when I was trying to make an important decision about my future. This summer is looking extremely cloudy - and i guess I just wanted to see a bit of sunshine, a abit of clarity. But I was trying to force a UV beam through the fog, something fake to give me light, to give me direction. Too much thinking and just wanted peice of mind. Nearly made the wrong decision and spent my last monies on going to america fo the summer with a compnay that just wanted to strip me bare of wonga. Literally last minute, I made it through the darkness  and managed to get back in touch with wat truely mattered and felt right. Close call tho

And last but not least - the present moment....a strong instinct that planted itself for years, dormant inside of me, trying to pull me closer to someone, someone special....but I resist, with utter pretence and suffering. I allowed so many automatic objections to block out what truly presented itself infront of me. Each one creating a wall within the mind...and the more walls I built the further away I stood to what felt right to me...eventually this turned into my thoughts becoming lies, and all lieing to yourself does is prolong amazing experiences which are already destined on your path. But if something so powerful as instincts exsist, wouldnt it win the battle one day? Well yea of course. and so the day came when the truth came out in an explosion of realisation. Everything became so.... clear. Like breathing in mountain air. I knew what I had to do next. This opportunity was not to be missed this time -  I had to embrace fully in its potential and beauty.

My next mission was not to let the mind take over again almost immediately. Because from the outisde, I may have looked slightly insane. The second to worst thing after your own poisonous thoughts, are other peoples. Not many people understood my actions. quotes such as "Never saw that one coming" and "Thats really random" and "shes always in a relationship" have been constantly surrounding my life recently. And for a second i let my mind take over, and absorb it all and it made my life a living hell. No Mind - No offence able to be taken in the first place. Complete acceptance of what is. 

And this is the key to peace.

Accept, Embrace then Enjoy. The moment is here and now, and the minds image its created of your past, your future your 'life story' are literaly that - just an image, just a story. A distortion of reality. Know this and clutch at that freedom with deep passion and an open heart. If your outside the box, you Can never go wrong ;)

Enlightment what? Prf Yea, suuuure

Wow. 1. Whole. Month. and no blog post.

How much can change in this period of time? How about a whole new way of living life. Scrap that. Try a whole new level of consciousness. Confused already? Il try my best to explain.

Something happened to me before Christmas, that I cant really put into words. There are 2 main reasons for this.

1. Because there will be a time where I will make it more well known. However this time is definitely not the best.
2. Because the feelings that sprung from the experience started off as indescribably amazing and finished with an indescrible amount of emotional pain (this period of time in between being incredibly short might I add) therefore words cannot actually explain it properly.

But, as I keep hinting throughout all of my posts, fate gave me an option out. digging out the mess that I was left in, that swamp that had swallowed me up, good n proper.

I was scared though.

Christmas was getting ever so nearer and I just didnt know how possible it was to hide my pain for much longer, in order to pretend to enjoy myself and give back the positive energy that my Little brother so depseratly needed from me at this time of year. I didnt even know how I would enjoy myself on the holiday I had booked over new year, the damage to my heart resulting in non existent enthusiasm for any type of basic living..

Its at that moment, when all is lost, when your in your deepest, darkest hole, that the best miracles seem to happen. (point 1 to remember)

I could say that it all started with a sudden appearance of a book, but being honest, I felt that the message portrayed in the book I had already, unconsciously known, its just it had no structure, no basis for me to fall back on these, so called,  'theorys' , and so I always let it slip.

I read a little bit of this book everynight, and with every chapter, I felt a renewed strength inside of me. When Christmas finally came, I felt, finally, slightly more at peace with myself, which made it possible for me to return feelings my 8 year old bro needed, which in turn made me more at peace. Flying off to see old friends actually felt exciting, like i never imagined it to be. And i enjoyed every moment of it, as i stayed in the present moment the whole time I was there (small hint right there).

I saw my mistake. It was entirely self-created. But Im not blaming myself, thats just a negative emotion that neednt be there, like guilt and all the rest, and so was quickly discarded, like the rest (point 2).

In my situation, I suffered. What I didnt realized is that, due to my mind, I reminded myself of this suffering every time I woke, therefore just made my body re-live the same negative emotions everyday. Due to my mind, I got stuck in a rut, that is my past, therefore not really living int he present. Due to my mind, I created situations in my head that i thought would happen, therefore got stuck in future. Due to my mind I was unhappy because I didint get what I want. (Even though what I want is something that the mind has created a vision of, and not necessarily what I truly want). Due to my mind, I was convinced that happiness and peace was something found in external things, objects and even in other people, just to fill that whole, that again due to the mind, had labelled 'unhappiness' (the minds expertise is labelling things).

That bloody mind has alot to answer for.

The Lesson I Learnt

By shutting off that noisy, horrid, obsessive, negative creating thinking machine that sits ontop of my head high and proud to be my downfall,  just for one tiny moment, the past and the future had done a runner. No where to be seen. And, literally, All I  had left, was just myself and the present moment. (not the self that i created an image of in my thoughts, which i actually discovered is quite a different personality)And it was in this present moment that i realised, myself was actually enough. and it was in myself I surrendered to, where I found peace. Thats the first step.

N.B Please dont misunderstand my other posts in this blog where ive talked about looking at the past to find hapiness. This is positive reflection, not dwelling. The present moment however has alot more to offer.

Want to go further down the Rabbit Hole?

It was in this peace where I realized negative emotion couldnt actually possibly exsist. Not when your in that level of consiousness. Where on earth does it come from then?

Ah look, that friggin brain again.

It actually formulates how you look at a situation from a perspective thats harmful for a human being. A great tool, but literally being used for the wrong reasons.

Then I realised, I just took the 2nd step (backwards). Instead of being immersed inside the negative creating thought, I was looking at it from the same place where I found that peace, as an outsiders point of view (trying not to sound skitzifrenic here). Its from the outside where you can put this thought right. I can stop the pain from there, because it was my head that created it and not my real sense of self.

The 3rd step consists of staying put in that state. Its kinda hard to master. Think I'm on my way. Will let it be known when Im there for sure :)

More pointy things

3. Many of us are diseased already. The mind created that disease, and that is where it dwells. Doctors refer to it as Paranoia. I call it the unfortunate fate that nearly every human being is suffering from, some more seriously than others. It is also known as addictions. Everyone has them.

4. This mental disease can lead to physical disease, due to the body creating the wrong chemicals from feeling the wrong emotions making your poor self terribly unbalanced.

5.. War. Mass Killing. Self Harming. Suicide. Family breakups. Relationship breakups. Lonliness. All created by one main element. Fear. Fear is a state of mind. Just a state of mind. If this was realised, so many lives would be saved, and so many people would stop wanting to be unhappy because they think its right/normal state to be. NO ONE actually deserves that.

6.. Fear can be eliminated. Unhappiness eradicated. In one moment, see if its possible to not think of something that has happened in the past, or wonder what will happen in the future, even what wil happen in the next 5 minutes. Whats in this moment, this exact moment, thats beautiful?  How is your body feeling in this moment? What is the best thing in this moment for you right now. Oh look, I just made your past and future dissapear for a second.....

Sneaky me :P. How free did you just feel. Awesome Stuff huh.

Wanna find peace? bit of luurve? lasting happines? Wanna save the world?

Love yourself, find peace inside. Save yourself first. Its amazing how things start working out. I may be wrong. Maybe we were born to only be happy sometimes. Well then, I guess there's no harm in trying this out then :)

A Special Letter

I havnt blogged in a while and while there is a very good reason for this, I still feel some what slightly guilty. I am suppose to be spreading inspiration and positiveness to peoples life on a regular basis, but unfortunatly a recent encounter has led to the complete plummet of my emotions, and inspiration and positivty actaully cease to exsist. But I must write something. The world does not evolve around me and my self pity. It keeps turning and I must turn with it.

So I write a letter. I hope some people can relate and use it to thier advantage. The positive conlclusion to this blog will also be a part of this letter, instead of a seperate paragraph, so I hope it still has the same effect.

oh and this is the song I wrote it to. I suggest listening to it and reading too.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7jxvy7W9bqo

Dear Spr Sensible 

Life is full of mystery and passion. It is not there to tease you, and then take it away. Its only purpose is to be fully endulged and discovered, embraced and rejoiced, by everyone and anyone that is willing to recognise its worth.

Is it the mystery that you are so afriad of? If so, not only is it scaring you away, but also, it is providing the perfect cover to blind you to what virtue and opportunity there is. The possibilites of a steady flow of happiness could be placed to you right at the bottom of your feet, but your incapability in discovering the boundries of situations and then exploring what is beyond them  could, inevitably, lead to mournful sorrow and torturous regret, which maybe even Time itself, could not completely heal from your heart.

There is absolutly nothing wrong with better to be safe then sorry. And I understand perfectly well the protective mechanisms you have placed in order to make your life secure. To always be 100% fully prepared for every thing that may happen and to take complete control  of the happenings that you are certain of so that they roll into the direction you want them to go.  However, dear, nothing can be set in stone like that. Absolutly nothing ever goes, exactly according to plan. You may have already started to notice that at some points in your life already. But arent the most memorable moments in your life the ones  that consisted in taking a jump, a leap into the unknown?

Protective mechanisms are essential, of course. But with every mechanism, there is a fault. It can decrease the variety of emotions that you may never experience if you cusion yourself so much.

And the hiding. The burrying. The hollow Pretence. To watch how you do this to yourself  from this angle is almost unbearable. Of course it works, for you, for now. But after a long period of time, it may damage something inside. Such a shame that would be, as there is so much goodness that exsists in there. Cynism maybe a large part of you life, but underneath that, i have seen, the pureness of your heart. And its beautiful. Its rare. It should be highly treasured and appreciated by someone. Someone you regard as special.

I truely hope you realise the potential in what I am essentially attempting to open your eyes to. Not for my benefit, but more importantly for you and your future. There is so much that awaits you. If you sprint past the mysterious and you hide away from the passionate it may leave an emptiness within your heart, ultimately leading in the failure of what you must do in your life to the best of your ability.

Above all, try to remember this. Its not the things that you do, that makes you the person you are. Its the choices that you make, that determines these traits. 

Please, stop and think. Re evaluate your choices. Be the person you want to be, and not what you think you should be.

I wish you the best of luck, with everything.

And I will never forget what should always be remembered.

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