How to deal with loss

Loss

Our lives are always full of loss.

Loss is always followed by overwhelming pain.

And this type of pain is always the one that hurts the most. The pain that we always remember.

How do we overcome the pain of loss? How do we return balance or peace to our lives?
How do we deal with the emptiness, the hole that it leaves inside our hearts?

This week I attended a funeral, for the first time in my life. I also suffered another type of loss, and all in just 24 hours.

Life was obviously trying to teach me something very important. And the first place I decided to ponder on was the symbol of infinity.

The meaning of this symbol had the answers to all of these questions. There is no end, no loss. There is no begining. Only transformation. Loss TRANSFORMS us.

We lose the caterpillar to gain the butterfly.

We lose a relative to this world, so that we gain the motivation to spread their stories, their wisdom to the world.

We lose a love, in order to gain strength in our hearts.

Never underestimate the power of loss and the things that we gain from it.

This power will always be FOREVER. This transformation will always be infinite.

💕🙏💞🙏💟🍀🌟🎆⚛☯🕉⏩✴🈳🔵

#openmind #spirituality #selfhelp #lifeadvice #jayshetty #emotionalhealing
#inspiration

Why I am an easy-pleaser

What do you say when someone asks you the question - "did you like it?" "Yea good." "Fine" "It was alright".? How do you feel when you reply as so?

Over the years I have learnt and mastered the power of gratitude. Saying thank you for the smallest things that are in my life on a daily basis. Everything I say thank you for seems to stay in my life. However, recently I have realised that this way of thinking has had a secondary effect on how I react to things. Anything positive that happens, I seem to react very strongly to. Using words such as amazing, awesome, fantastic. If someone has cooked me food, or if I see a cool movie, or even travelling to random non-touristic places - I just can't give a half hearted answer anymore.

For me, all of these things are absolutely wonderful.

What happens with this reaction you might ask? Well more of these things that I think are amazing enter my life. Amazing attracts amazing.

But it is hard sometimes. Not many people in this world think the same way, and it would be great to share my enthusiasm for everything with more people. With such unique thinking, things can get fustrating. But it has never been enough fustration to conform to ordinary thinking, ordinary responses leading to ordinary lives.

I recently went on a trip to Paraguay, stopping in Brazil and Argentina to see Iguazu falls. Not much was planned beforehand, and so it was a very go-with-the-flow experience. When I came back I realised how amazing everything worked out, every action that occured led to the next with perfection and there was a little bit of everything involved in the journey, nature, parties, history. I can't help but look back and think, how magnificent everything was.

During the visit to Iguazu falls, I witnessed the forces of nature at the maximum that I have ever seen. The giant waterfalls gushed water with so much power. It was there I felt the true forces of nature. This park also had a perfect balance of wildlife, and it was all thanks to ever flowing water, hot climate and abundance of trees. And I sat and comtemplated life in those moments, as I believe Nature is out best teacher. The force of the waters reminded me that there are something that you have no control over and it is best to let them go. The impecable balance created by the eco system reminded me that, even if you have lost equilibrium in your life, there is always a chance to find it again. That is where the happiness hides :)

So, the next time someone asks you, 'hey how was it? Did you like it? Try thinking about all the great lessons you may have learned and instead of answering with 'good' 'fine' answer 'amazing' 'fantastic' 'magnificient'. You will feel a whole lot happier and notice more amazing things entering your life.

26 truths

Just turned 26 years old. Just a number, but it feels like a low one. Can't help but reflect on what I have achieved, what I've learnt and whether I feel it is enough at this age.

One thing is for sure though, the experiences I have had have made me realize some truths. These truths are things that I live by because I've seen the positive effects that they have in my life.  A lot of them are hard to put into words, but I'm going to try and list them here, 26 of them, each one representing every year of my blessed life on this earth. I hope they are as much of a powerful tool to you as they are for me.

1. Embrace the emptiness. - we all have a tendency to get scared of feeling empty and try to fill a hole inside of us to feel complete again. The truth is we NEED this emptiness. It is such a useful part of us. As soon as you can make peace with the emptiness inside of you, the quicker good things will be able to enter your life, because you have SPACE for it.

2. Dream - All dreams, big or small, are our way of attracting what we want in our lives. Imagination is the most powerful thing human beings own. Let your mind wonder, envisioning the future and do this often, you will be surprised at the results thinking 'dreams really do come true'.

3. Take Action - Dreams are vital but mean nothing without your follow up action. Nothing comes on a silver platter - If you want something go and get it, work hard, do what needs to be done and you WILL get noticed. Even just baby steps are a lot of progress.

4. Love, alot, and show it - Love your partner, your family, friends, colleagues, even your enemies. Show your love to them, remind them that you care. The more you love, the more love comes to you This cycle of divine energy is needed fuel long lasting happiness in your life

5. Give more than you take - Giving is magic, it will always bring light to darkness, a smile to someones face, a change in someones life. Give in to giving, and watch the world around you light up.

6. Stay in the here and now - As much as making a future is important, nothing is more important than focusing on the present moment. Being aware, watching and appreciating what is going on around you brings a peace to your heart like no other, and is the clensing we need to have a happy fulfilled journey.

7. Meditate - even if it just a few minutes everyday. Clearing your mind can bring focus and clear thinking when having to make important decisions. The best decisions are made in a state of calm and tranquility.

8. Exercise - an obvious one to stay fit I know but exercise is more than that. Your body is built to be used. When it isn't being used enough things start to go wrong. It is also another form of mediation and helps clear away bad thoughts. Exercise in something you love for the best results.

9.    Do what you love - Life is short and we are all very unique. Do something that you love doing and express your uniqueness to the world - thats what we were put here to do in the first place! It also helps to avoid mental illness issues  in the long run.

10. Be grateful - The power of gratitude is unlike anything I have ever seen. Literally, miracles WILL happen in front of your eyes. That horrible feeling you get when you only know what you've got until you've lost it can be avoided if you sit down for a few minutes everyday and say thankyou for everything that makes your life possible.

11. Dance - we all have a rhythm. Even our hearts beat a rhythm. Moving your body to these rhythm will release super healing hormones in your body, and is always a great way to get out of feeling blue.

12. Express and create - Although some more than others, everyone has a creative side. Express and embrace this, for other people to enjoy as there is no greater joy in watching the positive effects of your own creativity.

13. Eat well and enjoy it - food gives us the energy we need to make our lives possible. Being selective about what you can be the decision between life and death. There are so many things that don't belong in our system that are inside a lot of the food that we buy. Being cautious may add a few more years to your life.

14. Travel - human beings were never meant to stay in one place. They are naturally built for migration. Experiencing new places and cultures contributes to your inner growth massively, becoming the best person you could possibly strive for.

15. Take pride in your work - We work approximately 70% of our waking lives. This is a huge chunk if time and so no matter what  you may do as a living, try your best at it and give it all you got. You'll find more happiness in what you do and increase your over all happiness level as a result. So whatever happens, get up, show up and kick ass.

16.  Embrace the changes - Every single thing that we know changes in one form or another. Even if we try to prevent change sometime, it doesn't matter what you do, change will always happen, with or without your help. Embracing the changes will make the transaction smoother and more beneficial rather than becoming something frustrating.
  
17. Learn - read books, articles, ask questions. Knowledge is brain food, we need it in order to function well for a long period of time.

18. Teach - Give your knowledge, teach your skills, pass on useful information to others. If you live life learning and teaching in an endless cycle, the possibilities are endless.

19. Believe - Different people have different beliefs. But the power of believing has led to some great historical moments. However, beware of how you chose to perceive what you believe. Stay on the path of love, light and equality as other negative perceptions can lead you to terrible consequences Believing in yourself is always the best place to start.

20. Know your worth - Really work on valuing yourself and avoid devaluing yourself. You are as special as anyone else, and 100% completely unique. For that, don't let yourself or anyone else treat you any less.

21. Treat all as equals - whether they are your manager, employee, earn more/less than you, different colour skin or religion, in the end we are all one. We came from the same stuff and we are all connected. If you treat someone badly, you are treating yourself badly too. Whether you agree with them or not, show your respect to all that cross your path. You never know when you will need a bit of that respect back.

22. Everything passes - Accept the bad stuff, because sooner or later it will pass. Embrace the good stuff, because sooner or later this will also pass. We need this balance for our a happy healthy life.

23. Follow the signs - Life only wants good for you. It tries to lead you there all the time. The signs are everywhere, so be ready and on the look out, and when you see one, follow it at all costs. Don't miss these opportunities, they may never come back to you again.

24. Clean - no need to be obsessed with it but first of all, the action of cleaning is very therapeutic for humans and good for the soul. also, if you keep your surroundings tidy you will be more productive and generally more content.

25. Have purpose - Try to find a good positive reason for everything that you do. Without this, we tend to feel quite lost and frustrated with our lives. Let your purpose be like a root of a flower, essentialy for doing something great and blooming into someone beautiful.

26. Rest - You are not a machine. Give yourself time and be patient. Recharge your batteries once in a while to be 100% capable of doing the best and showing the world how you can make it a better place to live.

On that note, goodnight and sleep tight guys.

Life without the sunnies

Have you ever been wearing a pair of sunglasses for so long and then finally took them off with a huge shock at how everything around you is so amazingly beautiful, and you've only just noticed?

I had one of these moments very recently while on a rowing boat sailing through the lake of the Burmese countryside. By doing such a small action as taking off your sunglasses your whole perspective can shift.

My perspective shifted  big time in more ways than just one during my time in Myanmar.

It was definitely an unforgettable adventure. But at the same time it was difficult to focus and really be in the moment as the deadline for a very important exam that I have is forever drawing nearer and nearer, hence why I brought my studies with me to do some revision during quiet times on the hectic journey. Never really a good mix but with only 3 weeks to go I felt I had no other option.

While on this exciting getaway,  I came  accross many  different challenges. Although the people were friendly, they were frequently trying to rob you of every dime that you have. While it was great to finally feel the sun on my skin, cycling around desserts and mountains in 40 degrees heat pushed my body in way I thought I could never handle before. And while I am very content with my newly founded Love, our first holiday together spending every moment with each other brought about unique experiences and feelings to the surface that we never knew we had.

I could look at all of the above in two different ways. One would be to think - I should have chosen a much calmer, easier destination where I could actually relax from all the hard work and come back feeling refreshed - what a waste of time that country was!

Or I could view the experience much like the exam that is coming up very soon - just like a TEsT.

A test to see how aware I am of the scams and money grabbers of the world, but still be able to keep my faith in humanity.

A test to see how far my mind can push my body, breaking limits and becoming forever stronger for it.

A test to see how strong and deep True Love can grow.

The biggest realisation is that actually Life is filled crammed full with tests, and our job is keep taking them. Whether you pass or fail is somewhat irrelevant - you are bound to come out of it stronger either way, just for trying.

And so with this in mind I relish the challenge of my 3 hour written exam approaching so very soon. I will try my very best and be thankful for all the tests that Life lays before me, helping me evolve into the best possible self that I could ever become as a human being in my time on this Earth.

Time to take off the sunnies and get studying then.

Break a leg everyone ;)

The origin of your inner power

One of my favourite words in Japanese is actually the word to ask someone how they are everyday. The word is pronounced as 'Genki'. So to ask someone how they are, you can literally just say 'genki?'. But there is also a second meaning to this word. It is a word to describe a person with a lot of energy and enthusiasm for life in general. You can say something like 'Oh I know her, yea she is really genki.' The more I live here the more I have come to realise what other people think about me. And nearly always I am described as the 'genki one'. Not a bad title to have if you ask me.

Today after a rollercoaster of emotions that I went through, I came out the other end feeling randmonly genki - for no apparent reason. I often get asked the question 'Maria, how come your so genki? Where does it come from?' And to be honest I didn't really have an answer for this. Mainly because I didn't really understand why myself. But I really wanted an answer because the genki feeling is something that I always want to share with everyone around me. Just because it is just so great to be Genki. 

So I decided to do a bit of research into the real meaning of this so catchy word. I discovered this. 

The chinese characters to spell it look like this: 元気。The first character 元 pronounced 'gen' means origin. The second character 気 pronounced 'ki' has a few different meanings. It could be translated as spirit or an inner power. 

Everything then started to make sense. This feeling inside of me that gives me so much energy is the origin of my spirit. What is the origin of my spirit? Well the origin of everything comes from Love. Everyday I will always find an opportunity to Love unconditionally. Maybe this is the universe's way of giving back, filling me with lots of genkiness. This in turn provides me the energy to be as proactive as possible to achieve anything that I want. Maybe that is why I am not afraid to dream big. 

'all dreams come with in-built challenges, and all challenges come with in-built dreams'

My recommendation for the day: Be young and genki forever

6 steps to Rapid healing from emotional suffering

Reflecting on 2015 and all the experiences I had, not only did I decide to dwell on the good (which is incredibly important, as to dwell on good is to magnify it), but I also decided to reflect on the things that were difficult for me. This was so I could bring what I had learnt from these experiences into 2016, and use them to create a brand new year full of potential, magic and infinite possibilities. 

When I had made that list, I realised how many times in one year things have happened to me which brought me quite heavy emotional pain. But then I had a really interesting thought. How long did it take me to heal from these experiences? How fast had I managed to overcome the suffering during these phases? How much have I really improved the process of healing from emotional suffering over the past year? 

Alot.

If the same things happened to me 4 or 5 years ago, it would have taken me much longer to heal from them. These things happened to me quite often in the last year, but each time the healing process got quicker and quicker, as I eventually became used to what would make the pain worse and what would make it disappear, as well as the different processes to silence negative thinking.

From this realisation I suddenly had the need to share such essential knowledge, in the hope that others will be able to heal just as fast as I can, creating a world full of people with super healing powers and positive thinking.

I have narrowed this down to '6 steps of rapid healing', in order to show you a fast but effective process that you can follow next time you may feel heavy emotional suffering. This could be from having a broken heart, for example. After being in a relationship for many years or even if it was just for a few months, the emotional suffering is still the same. Or it could be hearing some bad news about a family member or someone you care about. Or maybe even feelings of anger, disappointment, guilt that you have decided to bestow upon on yourself for some reason, which in turn is making you suffer. Any kind of emotional pain that you may have, these steps will guide you to a rapid recovery, and give you back a wonderful sense of freedom. L

1. Accept

'In time, this too shall pass'

Accept your pain. Accept the situation. Remind yourself that it is a part of life and cannot be avoided. I know it hurts but believe that the pain will be over soon. This step allows you not to try and 'delete' pain from your heart which usually doesn't work as you would basically be lying to yourself about how you feel, but actually to let it go through you, accepting it for what it is, and waiting for it to pass. Once you can do this, you will be pleasantly surprised how quickly the pain can pass through.

2. Be grateful

'Life is a gift and gratitude is the magnet.'

Have gratitude for two things - first, everything that you have in your life that is wonderful, that does NOT need healing.  The small things we often take for granted, breathing, being able to walk, eating wonderful foods. The things that you can be grateful for in ones life are endless. Every night before going to bed make a list of things in your head that you are grateful to have, that brought you joy that day, or made you laugh, and say thank you 3 times for each thing. This will bring a warm fuzzy feeling to your whole body, which dramatically reduces the feeling of pain and suffering from your heart. 

The second thing and ultimately the hardest thing to be grateful for, is the reason for your suffering. Now I know that sounds crazy, but if you get into the habit of truly believing that everything is happening for a good reason, even if you don't understand what the reason is at that time, be grateful and say thank you every day for the lessons that it will teach you. This will replace the negative thoughts in your head which prevents healing.

3. Spend time alone

'Solitude is the moment when our soul is free to speak to us, and help us decide what to do with our lives.'

Constantly surrounding yourself with people while trying to avoid any time alone to think about the situation will prevent healing and make it a very slow process indeed. Of course spending time with the ones you love is important when in difficult times, just as much as it is to get up and go to work. There is nothing wrong with keeping the mind busy, in fact it does help avoid the negative thinking however, it is very important to find the right balance between time alone, time with loved ones and work. If you can incorporate all three during your healing process equally you are halfway there. Time alone is very important to reflect on what's happened and why, and move on with the healing process.

4. Cut down on alcohol

For some of us, we often think that it will be ok if we drink our sorrows away. But binge drinking during the healing process will more than likely cloud your head, lead to unusual behavior or situations that you need to avoid during this sensitive time of healing, and create regrets the next day which is all negative thinking, again delaying the healing process. I don't think it would do any harm to have a few with your mates at the weekend, but if things start to get heavy, I would probably go home early. 

5. Do what you Love more. 

'Doing what you love is a form of meditation'

Remember that hobby you used to do but haven't been doing alot recently? Take that up again, and do it alot. Enjoy it to the max and feel all of your negative thoughts slipping away. When I dance for example, I have no thoughts of the past or worries about the future, I am here and now and smiling because I love doing it so much. I'll dance in my bedroom sometimes if there isn't any other opportunity. What ever it is you love to do, make the effort to schedule it in more often than usual and feel the positive energy fill up your body and soul once more.

6. Remind yourself of your importance, and your worth. 

'You are a child of the universe;

No less than the trees or the stars.

And you have a right to be here'

Think about all the people in your life that you are important to. Why are you important to them? What qualities do they love about you? What qualities do you love about yourself? If it is difficult to think of some, make a list. Put pen to paper, until you have at least 10. There is not much chance of any healing being properly done in your life if you do not learn to love yourself for who you are, what you have to offer this world and how much you are worth. You are worth more than someone using you, more than someone treating you badly and much more than then negative voice inside you head. If you teach yourself this, the negative voice will fade away and be replaced with only a warm glowing feeling inside of you, for yourself, the world and everything in it. 

And thats it. Warm fuzzy feelings and glowing inside of you is what you are looking to achieve to heal from emotional suffering. Following these 6n steps will help you do that at a rapid rate. It is your best defense against the negativity which spreads through your body so quickly, like a virus, eventually causing mental and physical Illnesses. These warm fuzzy glowing feelings are also known by another name more simple name - Love,in it's pure energy form. 

And there you have it - All you need is Love.

Happy Healing with lots of love.  

あなただからこそ、特別だ！

*A special thankyou to Seb and Aya chan for the translation, a kindness I will never forget, I feel so honored to have my blog in Japanese* <3


「ノックノック」
「誰なのだろう。」
「あなたとまったく違っている人。」
「またか。でも昨日も先週もノックしたでしょう。本当は毎日ノックしているでしょう。教えてほしい、この世に私と同じ人がいるだろうか。」
「いいえ、いないよ。」
「だよね。じゃ、またね。」
*ドアを永遠にボルトで締める*


新しい仕事。新しい責任。新しい限界がさらに広げられる。毎日、見られている。毎日そんなに詳しくないことに対して試されている。毎日想像できるはずのないことに対して利用されている。この人たちはどうしてこんな風にできるの？


休みが必要だった。新しい人、新しい場所、新しい考え方。変！不思議！この人たちはどんな人たちだろう。



仕事に戻った。日常に戻った。慣れしたしんだ生活に戻った。。。自分の周りを見てみる、一体どうしたの？この人たちはどんな人たちだろうか。


もしもし？どこにいるの？誰かいるの？私と同じ人がいるの？



新しいシチュエーションに身をおいたことがある？それに対して寂しいという感じたことがあった？疎外感を感じた？昔と同じようなこと、便利さ、相似性、よく知っていることを望んでいるの？




もちろん、皆こんなことを体験したことがあるはず。それは、昇格することだったり、出張、旅行などで海外へ行くこと、大好きな人と離れて遥か遠くへ引越しすることなど。最近の私の人生は毎日がチャレンジだったと言える。その上、自分の目標、自分が達成しようとしているものの主な理由は自分と同じシチュエーションにいる、同じことをしている他の人と共有されていないといつも思い出させられてしまっている。




そしてこの新しいシチュエーションの中毎日成長している。そしてこの思いの主なテーマは何で私はそんなに違っているの？ということ。



２年半前にイギリスに離れた。そして離れた理由のひとつは、こんなにも多様で、異文化が溢れている、考えの自由をもっている国でさえ、私と同じ考え方を持っている人や場所を見つけることができなかったからだ。ただ、それは世界を体験する機会を与えてくれたのではないかな？また世界はこんなにも広いのだから、きっと私と同じ価値と徳性を持っている人がいるはずだから。




そして、私は行きました。




そして世界を旅行して色々な国に住んでみた今でも、この状況はまだ変わっていない。どこに行っても、皆は違っていて、私と同じ人は誰もいない。




それで、自問し始めている。
他の国に行って同じ考えの人を見つけることにまだ希望を持てばいいか。
あるいは人と合わせるために自分を変えるべきなのか。何かをするために自分の理由を変えるべきなのか。、もしそんなことをしたら、人生にはもっと意味を成すかもしれない。
　

でも、よく考えてみてから、私自身の答えはただ「だめだ」ということだ。




外を見てください。雨は降って、木に水を与える雨であるべきだ。木は果物を成長させるべき木だ。果物は自分たちの関心を引き付けるために、甘くて美味しい果物であるべきだ。我々は種をまいて生活環境を再び始めるためるべきだ。




鳥は空が白むと美しい和音で空気を授けるために鳥であるべきだ。




山は水を流し出し川と湖を作って、我々に飲み水を与えるための、山であるべきだ。




そして、星は願いを叶っていただくことを信じて、実を言うと力を分かっていない星の美しさを見るために、星であるべきだ。




 雨、山、鳥、山、星など、など、そちのものは全て同じことをやって、そのことをやって同じ理由を持てば、世界はついに終わるようになる。



私からのメッセージ。

たとえ誰もあなたのやっていることをやらなくても、あなたと同じように考えなくても、あなたと同じ価値を持たなくても、心から自分らしく、特別な自分として生きていってください。


これは世界からあなたへプレゼントだから。このプレゼントを提供したら、世界はそれを返してくれる。




そして、誰もがあなたのことを理解していないと感じるときは、この言葉を思い出して。


私はここに一人でいる。それは一人になるためではなく、自分らしく輝くためだ。
私は誰もが話を聞きたくない追放人ではない。

私はユニークであり、そのユニークさをメッセージとして伝えるためにいる。
この魂、この考えのもと生まれてきた。皆と同じようになるために変わるのではなく、世界をより良い場所にするために。




そして私はここにいる。これが私の考え、感じ方。そしてこれが私のしたいこと、どうしてそうしたいかである。これは私からみんなへのギフトである。



With my hands, I give you my heart, and crown it with love.

自分の手で自分の心をあげて、愛でそれに王冠をいただかせる。

You are special, because you are YOU.

'Knock knock' 

'Who's there?'

'Someone completely different to you' 

'Again? But you knocked here yesterday, and last week, in fact, you guys are always knocking at my door. Tell me, Is there anyone out there similar to me by any chance?' 

'No' 

'Right. Ok. Good bye.' 

*locks and bolts the door forever*

New job. New responsibilities. New limits being pushed. Everyday I'm being watched. Everyday I'm being tested in something I know very little about. Everyday I'm being exploited to things that I couldn't have imagined happened before. How can these people do it like that? 

Quick holiday needed. new people, new place, new way of thinking. Strange, weird, what are these people all about?

Back to work, back to normality, back to what I'm used to.....I look around me, but what an earth? What are THESE people all about too?

Hello? Where are you? Anyone one out there? Anyone just like me?


Have you ever put yourself in a new situation and felt alone? Alienated? Wish things were like they used to be, comfort, similarity, and familiarity, the same old same old?

Yes of course we have all been there. Whether it is being promoted, or going away to foreign places, or even moving far far away from everyone you know and love. I can say that in my recent life, everyday has been a challenge so far. And On top of that, I'm being constantly reminded that my purpose, my main reason behind everything that I'm trying to accomplish, seems not to be shared by any other person in the same situation as me, doing the same thing. 

And so With everyday that I'm growing in these new situations in my life, the same thoughts keep appearing. And the main theme of these thoughts are ..... Why am I so bloody different?

I left England 2 and a half years ago. And I must admit, one of the reasons why I decided to go was, even in such a diverse, multi cultural and open thinking country, I couldn't find anyone or place with similar thinking to me. I thought, well it's time to explore the world I live in while I can, and on the way I'm bound to find people who have similar values and morals to me, the world is such a big place after all.

And so off I went.

And now I can safely say that, after traveling the world and living in multiple different countries, that situation still hasn't changed. Everywhere I go, everyone is so different and no one is the same as me. 

Then I start to ask myself these sort of questions.

Should I keep moving and still have hope that I will find like minded people?

or

Should I change myself to fit in with the crowd I happen to currently be in at that particular time? Change my reason for doing things? If I did, Maybe life would make so much more sense.....

But After some contemplation, my answer was only this. 

NO

Look outside your window. The rain must be rain, to fall and water the trees. The trees must be trees to grow the fruit. The fruit then must be fruit, sweet and delicious,  to attract our attention to eat it.  We must be us to drop the seeds to start the cycle all over again.

The birds must be birds in order to bless the air with beautiful harmony at the break of dawn. 

The mountains must be mountains in order to allow the water to flow down, creating rivers and lakes from which we can all drink from and thrive. 

And the stars must be stars, so we can gaze at their beauty, never truly understanding their power, but having faith that they will make all our wishes come true.

If they all did the SAME thing, and had the SAME reasons for doing them, the world would eventually stop turning. 

So here's my message to you. 

Even if no one else does what you do, thinks like you do, or shares the same values as you, from the bottom of your heart, BE  YOURSELF. your special self. Do what feels right to you and what makes you most happy, without caring if it is similar to what other people are doing. 

This is your gift to the world. Give it and the world will give back to you.

And at those times when you feel that there is no one that understands you, remember these words:

I am here alone. Not to be alone. but to shine with what i am. 
I am not an outcast that no one wants to listen to. 
I am a unique individual, with a unique purpose and a unique message to spread.  
I was born with this soul, this way of thinking, not to change it to be like everyone else, but to offer it to the world, to make it a better place to live in. 


And so here I am. This is how I think. This is how I feel. This is what I want to do and why I want to do it. And This is my gift to you all.

With my hands, I give you my heart, and crown it with love.

Up for Giving?

While learning a little Japanese the other day,   I came accross another interesting hidden meaning in one of the many complicated character systems they use in their writing.

There is a word (a verb) that has two different meanings, but can be splet with the same characters.

This word is 'Ageru'.
The Japanese spelling is 上げる.
The first character '上' means 'up'.

So the first meaning of this word is the verb 'to rise' or 'to go up a level'. It can be used in the context of a job promotion or something you are studying.

The second meaning is 'to give' in the sense of giving something to someone as a present, because out of your intention.

Ok so maybe I should stop being language teacher for just a second and get to the point. The question that I asked myself was, why would the character for 'up' or 'rise' be used for the same word as to give a present to someone?

And then it hit me - due to a recent previous experience that I had I was able to realise the meaning pretty quickly. To give IS to rise. And the more you give, the higher you go.

Whereever I go I always try to give my all. I travel to places and give everything to the people I meet there. Sometimes I come back a little depleated. But it's OK because I don't expect to recieve in return.

However, I realised something very important from my last travel. Even though you give your all in one particular area of your life, whether it's love, health, work, or family - you could rise up, usually unexpectedly, in another area. If you recognise it from that perspective, then no matter how depleated you would feel after giving, the rising up that life provides you in another area of your life gives you that energy back. And then ......well it's only up from there :)

So if you are scared of doing something, and giving your all, without getting anything back, just trust in that vital balance which the world is constantly trying to maintain. Trust that not only will it come back to you in one way or another,  but it will move you to the next level.

Let go of fear and soar up towards the stars.

MirrorWriting

Mirror writing

Christmas is a truly special time, a day that no matter where anyone is in the world, even from the otherside of it, everyone will do whatever it takes to be with their loved ones again. This to me really shows he compassion that still exists in this sometimes cold and robotic world we live in. As Mother Teresa so rightly put it, 'How can we promote world peace? Go home and love your family.'

Bu the Truth is, my favorite day of the year is actually New Year's Eve. Everybody is together full of hope and excitement for the new year. That's when I think to myself, how beautiful would this world be if we all woke up every morning with this same excitement, not just for the new year, but for each day that passes? So, one of my resolutions will be to do this every morning and inspire others to do the same :)

However In order to really benefit from the excitement of a brand new year coming up and a fresh new start, we have to reach to grow and develop from our pervious experiences that Eve had through out the year. Therefore I've invented an important procedure to follow before we start our new year. I'll call this he 3 r's procedure to make it easier to remember. These 3r's are, reflect, realize and revitalize. It's fairly easy to follow and can prepare to live the next year to the fullest potential.

1) Reflect

The first step is to write down every experience that had some kind of significant impact on your life, whether you consider them to be good or bad. Then imagine each experience as if you are watching them again, but in a mirror. I know it might sound a bit strange but, while teaching an advanced class English the other day, my students asked me what the word 'reflection' meant. So I asked 'when you look in the mirror, what do you see? To which they replied 'myself'. I then told them that they were wrong. Not their English, their answer. Eventually they agreed with me but didn't know the English word to describe what they saw. That's when I told them, that it wasn't them that they saw, it was their reflection.

A reflection is something you look at from an outsiders point of view, without any internal or emotional involvement. It can give you a wider scope of any situation therefore a better understanding of what really happened in each experience that you've listed before. And of course, if you change the angle of the mirror, you can see many different perspectives and ways to think about and judge each experience.

2) Realise

The second part of this procedure then automatically follows, from positive reflection, important realizations are made. You first start to realize that each experience in the past year are all intricately connected by one master divine plan made just for us to achieve out highest dreams and fulfill our most wanted desires, happening one by one at the perfect time in the perfect place, leading you with with the universes subtle signs along the way, falling into place just like dominoes.

3) Revitalise

And it's only after this important realization can we draw upon each experience an important learning curve, lessons that will help us to implement the next step in our procedure - to revitalize. From these lessons we learn we become stronger, wiser and more in synch with the grand plan, securing yourself a destiny full of love, light and contentness. This way we never stop growing, developing and evolving to our maximum potential, the reason why each of us is born into this world.

If we all follow this type of procedure and inspire others to do the same, then we can start each new year of our lives full of energy and positivity, bringing much more happiness to our lives and making this world an even more beautiful place to live in.

Happy New Year to all

Xxxxx

Empty as the sky

Here's a story of how I fell, got back up, learnt an important lesson and become a stronger person.

PART 1

On another solo journey, this time with with a different frame of mind. Recent events had made me feel delicate and I hadn't had time to deal with it before I had to get on the plane. 

This story consisted of walking down a certain path because it felt right. Deep inside I thought what was at the end of the this path I wasn't ready for, and it wasn't in my capability to achieve but I still followed my instinct. On the way I stopped, listened and followed, stopped, listened and followed. The sounds became louder and I knew I was getting closer. The sound I could hear gave me the impression I was heading towards something really exciting and I couldn't wait to be in the midst of it all and finally be able to have the big positive effect that I have always wanted to spread. Friends and family all cheered and assured me that I would reach the destination. I kept going, through the struggles and obstacles  and got so close I could finally see the door that led to this wonderful opportunity in my view. I arrived at the door, my heart pounding, I reached for the handle, turned it.... but it to my surprise, it was bolted shut.

All I could think about was 'How could that be? Why would life lead me all the way down this difficult road, to a bolted door I couldn't open?' 

But without having time to think about it more, off I went on a journey that I had organised 5 weeks previously, a little afraid of yet more disappointment that may be bestowed upon me. But for some reason, I still had an unbreakable faith that the universe is working with me and not conspiring against me. Every downfall has made me even stronger, and so as a true lion would, off I went with as much courage as I could muster, into the unknown.....



PART 2

Heading home I finally have time for reflection. I thank life for giving me the opportunity to explore and experience another land and spend time with good people. And I have a sudden realization that I have learnt something very important during my trip. Good things enter your life sometimes, out of random. They show this beautiful display of colour and light, like the the lights of aurora. You are in a state of great happiness. And then this good thing slowly fades away, and the display finishes. And there is suddenly an emptiness.....

This seems such a negative word. However, what I learnt was, it's what you do with that emptiness that determines your emotional state afterwards, therefore also determining how well the events of your life will go following that experience. 

If you fill the emptiness with expectations and judgments of the situation, there is a big chance you will get let down, disappointed, and hurt. And when you are in this state, your so full of sadness, that other good opportunities pass you by without you even knowing.

But if you leave it empty, without expectation or judgement you will just have this space, a void. And with this space, you will have room for other good things to come into your life, always welcoming the great opportunities and always remaining in a state of peace and contentedness.

Space and emptiness is the most valuable thing we have. And when we feel it inside of us, we have a tendency to think we should be filling it as quickly possible with anything that gives a very temporary feeling of satisfaction, be it, drugs, alcohol, sex or food.

But the reality is, it's not painful at all. It's light, it's free and it's exciting. Creating a void and making room for the universe to swoop in and give you what you have always dreamed of will only attract beautiful experiences ahead of you. 

This concept has actually been woven into many different religions, cultures and spiritual teaching practices for thousands of years all over the world. I've decided to illustrate 5 different examples to show this.

Be empty as the sky, and be free.

EXAMPLES

1) WISE MAN STORY

This is illustrated in the story of a wise man who won an expensive car in a lottery.

 His family and friends were very happy for him and came to celebrate. ‘Isn’t it great!’ they said. ‘You are so lucky.’ The man smiled and said, ‘Maybe.’

For a few weeks he enjoyed driving the car. Then one day a drunken driver smashed into his new car at an intersection and he ended up in the hospital, with multiple injuries. His family and friends came to see him and said, ‘That was really unfortunate.’ Again the man smiled and said, ‘Maybe.’

While he was still in the hospital, one night there was a landslide and his house fell into the sea. Again his friends came the next day and said, ‘Weren’t you lucky to have been here in hospital.’ Again he said, ‘Maybe.’”  
Being without judgment, is to be without pain.

2) SIKHISM

Inside the Guru Granth Sahib, their holy book, there is a passage that says:

'Be just as the lotus flower is not affected by water and always remains much above the surface, however big the rise and fall in it's level may be.

Be just as the duck who lives in the water, swims on it, but its wings do not become wet and it can fly away at any time. 

Be detached, and you will be able to swim across the world ocean."



3) SCIENCE 

'Apparently 99.9% of the whole entire vastness of the universe.....is.........space. nothing. voidness to its max. In between all the atoms that make us up there is more space then mass. This amount of empty space is not just huge, but gravitational too. Its grounding, and curves the shape of the planets orbits and the overall outline of universe itself.'



4) JAPANESE WRITING

Sky-  空

空 Kū or sora, most often translated as "Void", but also meaning "sky" or "Heaven", represents those things beyond our everyday experience, particularly those things composed of pure energy. Bodily, kū represents spirit, thought, and creative energy. It represents our ability to think and to communicate, as well as our creativity. It can also be associated with power, creativity, spontaneity, and inventiveness.

Kū is of particular importance as the highest of the elements. In martial arts, one often invokes the power of the Void to connect to the creative energy of the world. A warrior properly attuned to the Void can sense their surroundings and act without thinking, and without using their physical senses.

5) BUDDHISM 

a passage from the book of TAOISM

11

Thirty spokes will converge
In the hub of a wheel;
But the use of the cart
Will depend on the part
Of the hub that is void.

With a wall all around A clay bowl is molded;
But the use of the bowl
Will depend on the part
Of the bowl that is void.

Cut out windows and doors
In the house as you build;
But the use of the house
Will depend on the space
In the walls that is void.

So advantage is had
From whatever is there;
But usefulness rises
From whatever is not

Be free like the sea

Living life in the big metropolis city. Whatever I decide to do, a concrete jungle surrounds me everyday, with the buzzing atmosphere always promising me excitement and mystery......

But something starts to feel wrong, out of place... but there's no time to stop and think about it, nope there's no time for anything, gotta keep up with the non stop schedule with every minute of free time taken up, gotta maintain that progress in your career to keep growing, gotta balance that out with an exciting social life  because without the fun how would you release all that pressure of work? Sleep reduces to only 3 hours a day as that's all that can be squeezed in, I started running on reserve energy that I didn't even know was humanly possible, and life just seems to fly past you at the speed of light......

.... and about a month ago all of the lights, noise and chaos started to blind me from the root of the wrong feeling that kept nagging at me. And when two minutes of golden silence and peace  would blessingly enter my life, i thought to myself 'hang on a sec, where AM I going? Which way was I heading in the first place? Why are all these good people leaving my life? Why is all the positivity I am trying to spread around me actually having the adverse effect than I intend it to? What is going ON????

I felt blocked. Obstacles were everywhere.  I decided to stop and listen to my body. How can I get rid of these blockages? I asked. I started to have cravings for the rustling trees, mountain views, fresh sea air, and the sound of crashing waves. I could feel the lack of nature around me. I love nature so much so, that when there is a lack of it, I deeply miss its presence. That's when I knew, I needed to get away. A solo adventure to a tropical island for 4 days.  Off I went........

I arrived and got on the bus to the hostel from the airport. It was a fairly long journey. I noticed immediately there was nothing to worry about, no timing to be held, no promise or plan to implement, only me and a the swaying of palm trees slowly passing me by. My mind quickly emptied, and I went into a deep state of contented thought. When I arrived at my destination. I suddenly realized it had been months since I had even had time to think about going into a deep state of contentness like I just did, and I already felt refreshed before the holiday had even started.

As the holiday unfolded everything that I wished for was basically given to me on a silver platter. I wanted to achieve my dream of scuba-diving, and I did so a few hours after getting off the plane. I wanted to visit the jungles and see the old tribal culture that existed there, and so a lady I just met offered to drive me all the way there and back for free. I wanted to meet special and inspiring people that I had connections with and create unforgettable memories with, and I did that too. And even when a typhoon hit the island on the last day, I was forced to stay in the hostel and have a whole day of just relaxing cooking watching movies and playing board games. I forgot how beautiful these days could be.

I spent a whole evening on the beach watching the waves. I thought about my scuba-diving experience. I had never imagined so much beauty existed under the ocean. What was the secret of the ocean? It was free, everything came and everything went with the motion of the waves, it accepted everything, it never held on to anything, it always let everything go. And what was the result? a magical world underneath thriving with beauty and positivity beyond our comprehension.

One month has passed since that much needed and inspirational get away. It slowed my life down in a way that actually saved it from its own downfall. I came back to the city, with my mind unblocked and ready to accept, let go and be free, just like the sea. Within a few weeks, career opportunities started falling into my lap, and the window to my future was suddenly clean enough to look through and have a sneak peak at. It's enough to start my journey again, now I know which direction in which to head to.

As for the unintentionally negative effect I was having before I left the island, I figured out how that was happening and have made my own remedy to the situation. There has been a few situations in my life as of recent that have ended up with me being hurt and a little resentful. I can see clearly now that the key to preventing these situations from continuing was an ultimate forgiveness to everyone I had negative feelings towards in my life. And so I've started something called 'The Book Of Forgiveness'. In this book I've written a small letter to every person I felt has been connected with why I have felt hurt recently, and 100% completely with all my heart forgiven them in these letters.

Now I feel like the sea. No fear, resentment, anger, no boundaries, blockages or obstacles in my destination. Only me and the thousands of possibilities surrounding me now and in my future. And just like the sea, my magical world is appearing before me with beauty too sacred to describe in written word form....

You have the choice now, to cleanse. Get rid of all the pressure and stress, and with an empty mind  make the space for the universe to swoop in and answer all of your prayers. Now just like the sea and me, come with me and be free.....

Digging Deep - My Indian Tale.

Born in England, with an English way of living, but with a twist - being told that my roots were based in a country very far away where people do things, live and think in a very different way than the people surrounding me. I knew I was different to my friends at school, I always had different views and ideas about what was wrong and right, and different rules at home to theirs.

Then between the age of 4 and 10 my father decided to introduce me to India, this far away land where generations after generations of my family have lived for many many years. And so my mind was opened at such an early age, always hot weather, huge bugs and animals I had only ever seen in a Zoo before. People dressed up in wonderful colours, and  there was a world of poverty that I didn't know could exist, where the children seemed to be very happy regardless of whether they could afford trousers or not. Every corner we turned there was always something new and exciting to be seen, whether is was a roaming cow on the road or temples the shape of flowers. It was a new huge exciting playground where it seemed there was freedom to be yourself, without being judged by others, which was always the case back in England.

 14 years passed. I left home,  had many jobs,  travelled far and wide, lived in different countries where I saw other different cultures but nothing seemed to compare to the diversity of India. All the while, wherever I went, I would always tell people about the magical land that I have roots in and all the amazing things it has to offer. I learnt how to cook typical Indian food, listened and followed Indian music, went to temples in England, mixed with Indian people, which always made me feel very good, safe, at home. I felt my connection with India was strong and I couldn't wait for the opportunity to go back again and experience it all again.

And then while living in Asia, the opportunity finally came. 24 years old, I was dying to go back and couldn't wait to reunite with my family who i hadn't seen in a few years. And what a better place to reunite!

In those 14 years however, I had changed a considerable amount. I had dealt with many different types of people and out of everything I've experienced I've taken on all that feels in tune with my soul what is classed to me as 'the good', behavior, beliefs, morals, and left out the bad, gluttony, selfishness, negative thinking, things that never helped me move forward in my life.

Then I returned. Returned with this heart that I've spent so long developing and fine tuning, bringing all the morals I've learnt with me - but with an Adult mind. And what I was exploited to came as shock to me. Greed rules the streets, cons and crimes happened left right and centre and the every man to himself type of living was prominent in the society. I had many questions, in which the answers included information such as the problem of over population, not enough police, the class system not shifting. I've travelled the world and been to many places alone, but I just didn't feel safe enough to step outside without someone with me the whole time I was there. Anyone that talks to you is never interested in your welfare, only the money in your pocket. If you don't obey to the class system, and take a bike rickshaw home ride for 40p, making a very poor hungry man cycle you to your house which is a only 20 minutes by foot, you are potentially starving that man from buying him and his family dinner that night.

So as I was trying to take all of this in, I was trying to understand why I hadn't been able to see all of these things when I was child. A childs brain must only be able to comprehend what it wants to see, which for me was only fun, exciting adventure. Now my brain has matured I was able to see the truth.

An overwhelming feeling of disappointment came over me, as for years of feeling connected to and having roots in a society that does so many things I've learnt to be bad or wrong......

.... However at that moment of dread, a magical unexpected thing happened (As it always does). I was introduced to relatives of mine that I hadn't met before who were a family of the Sikh religion. They spent a great deal of time with me explaining the way of the Sikh and the principles that they live by.

I was told that, if you are ever in trouble in India and need help, run to a Sikh. It is his duty to protect others and will help you with 100% effort with what you need. They are taught that whatever they have is a gift, so they should always feel content no matter their class or income.  And they were right. That day we caught a taxi that a Sikh man was driving. Before we left the car, he told us to what to be careful of in the area. He genuinely cared as opposed to wanting something from us. Of this I was convinced.

They are so strong in what they believe, that in the Sikh history, many Sikhs have sacrificed themselves fighting for such a normal thing as quality, Regardless of gender, caste, colour or creed, all is one. They have been fighting for a land where Sikhs, Hindus and Muslims (three prominent religions in India) can live happily side by side for centuries. Some of the stories include an old Sikh warrior dying to protect others that are of other religions. This situation is so unique, it hasn't ever been found  in other religious stories.

Another concludes, that two young Sikh boys, age 9 and 10, were captured and asked to change their religion. When they said no, they bound them and built a wall around them suffocating them inside.

One other warrior who had previously put his life on the line to free many women who had been captured for slavery, had his head sliced off , but managed to capture his head with his hand and continued to fight with his sword in his other hand!

These are a few of many other heroic stories that show true bravery equality, selflessness and respect that is instilled in these people.

We went to one of the main Sikh temples while we were there, and I was sitting in the meditation room, listening to the a book that should never be read, only sung, I whispered to my father why it was I was felt so connected to these beautiful sounds. The soothing drums and voice always stirred very strong emotions in me, for reasons I could never understand. He told me that if one generation of people listen to one type of music over many many years, your ears can be genetically built to recognize those same sounds that your ancestors have been listening to and connect it with good feelings being sent to your brain. What a beautiful way to feel good again.

The relatives I met welcomed me immediately, regardless of the fact that I was very different to the typical Indian girl, being grown up in the West. They called me sister, and daughter, told me they loved me, gave me gifts, would always be there for me, all completely unconditionally.

It was during these moments that I was slowly realizing I could see something familiar with this type of behavior - I could see myself reflected in their morals, their actions, their hearts.

From this I was able to comprehend where my roots really lie and why I have felt so connected for so long - to these wonderful people. The Sikh religion is a beautiful way to live and has made this world a better and safer place to live. My faith, and hope had been restored into India.

Before I went back as an Adult, I had built some structure to my life and my personality, some with the help of my family, some by myself. From the trip done as an adult, I can safely say to that structure, I now have a strong solid base, a foundation that will keep my structure sturdy and balanced.

Now I can continue my life, always building, always developing  knowing that my solid foundation has come from roots and a background that's so strong, nothing in this world can break it.